That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 15, 2022

“I got gipped, this isn’t a jumbo!”

Nope, this one’s not gold either.

As a long time connoisseur, Grandma was the perfect person to inspect the eggs to see if they were ready for sucking.

Helga finds the perfect egg to put in her husband’s bed.

/// “All my eggs in one basket,” I get it.

If it dropped they’d all break; I’d regret it.

That advice would be fine,

but these eggs aren’t mine.

If they break, I won’t care, so forget it.

she always kept her ehhhs in one basket and it always worked out for Grandma!

/// Snow White’s “fairest of all,” I can’t fight it.

Transformed into a crone I will right it.

Dressed as someone who begs,

I told Snow, “Go suck eggs!”

Poisoned apple next time— she might bite it.

/// I was forty but no man had chosen

to father my child, and supposin’

that I’d reach “change of life”

before being a wife,

I decided to have my eggs frozen.

Claudette Colbert in later years wondering if it had been a good move to do, “The Egg and I” instead of “The Omelette and I.” Well, she had certainly kept her sunny-side up!

Who knew gathering eggs was such a lonesome job.

Alas, poor Yorick! He was a good egg!

/// Trust me, eggs make a great shampoo, Miss.

Lovely hair attracts men and brings bliss.

Your hair’s roots must be fed.

I once starved mine instead.

(With my scarf off, my head looks like this. )

“This one is female….”

One more peep outta’ you and I’ll crack your skull.

I’m gonna hard boil you.

listen, she says, ol’ ben franklin tol’ me an egg today is better than a hen tomorrow…

She is close to the realization

That there wasn’t a single Creation

That the simple solution

Is, in fact, evolution,

But such thoughts are above her station.

Professor of Advanced Alchemy preparing to demonstrate the process of turning a regular egg into a Faberge’ Egg.

“So what’s it gonna be for you? Boiled, scrambled, over easy, sunny side up, omelette or poached?”

If Alan Alda was a little old lady.

“Is this an egg I see before me?”

Helga decides to egg her ex-boyfriend’s house because she feared another toilet paper shortage.

You are just so eggzactly perfect. But it’s another 3 days until Fryday.

“Now, if I can only find a dentist who will take an egg in exchange for some false teeth.”

My first thought was that the egg was the one doing the talking.

“Wait till George hears that I still got a viable egg! We can have that boy he always wanted!!!”

“Eggy-weggs… I would like…to smash ’em!”

Damn, why do they have to make the “best before” dates so tiny!

“Well the yokes on me. This one’s chocolate.”

She got a job candeling eggs, but forgot she needed a candle.

Unbeknownst to Christians worldwide, this is the actual Easter bunny.

She had the eggs; all she needed now was toilet paper, and it would be a Mischief Night to remember.

Old Woman Selling Eggs: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:De_eierenkoopvrouw_Rijksmuseum_SK-C-106.jpeg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispricelessblog.com/2022/02/masterpiece-2879 

and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Why did the chicken cross the egg? To get to the other conundrum.

“Don’t tell me I’m not fertile anymore! Look at all these eggs!”

Myra tried to have children for many years, she misunderstood which eggs to fertilize.she didn’t have too much luck with her chickens either.

Helga tried and tried to use Force powers to turn the egg golden, but to no avail.

Big end up or little end up? I can never remember which is right.

♬Are you the egg man? Goo goo g’joob♬

Old Jenny Horner sat in a corner selling her eggs from a hamper. She stuck in a digit and started to fidget; the egg cracked by her thumb made her damper.

/// In old age she’s lost track of what’s true.

She’s forgotten so much she once knew.

Eggs she once put to boil

she now planted in soil.

Her expected eggplants never grew.

Mother Teresa early in her career, checking to make sure the eggs aren’t devilled.

/// Gramps was hoping his wife to abase.

Watch her fail and be “put in her place.”

Selling eggs on a whim

she was egged on by him.

She earned money; there’s egg on his face!

/// Berte charged for her eggs by their size.

Jumbo ones with two yolks were the prize.

Cheaper bought by the dozen,

(on advice of her cousin).

Here, she judges its worth with her eyes.

Aw … you’re as cracked as I am; aren’t you little eggy!

And this one I will save to balance on the equinox!

“That was N 17. Again, N 17. And the next one is B 44…