That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 25, 2022

He had done it! The statue captured his wife just perfectly. Beautiful, poised, unyielding and cold.

The great Danish actress Johanne Luise Heiberg was billed twice; first for the statue, then for the painting.

/// Famed Ms. Heiberg, an actress and Dane,

was a wise woman hard to restrain.

Said her sculptor, “I’ve tried

for the essence inside;

and I’ve captured her beauty and brain.”

/// Bissen gazed at his sculpture with pride.

Thought of Heiberg, his subject, and sighed.

(The wily old bast@rd

got her doubly plastered

and then made her hold still as it dried.)

Now with the perfect likeness of his wife, Matheo can unload all he wants.

Lo, afters these thousands of years, somebody dug up Lot’s wife.

“Speak low, when you speak love…” No, it wasn’t working. Alf just had to learn life wasn’t like the movie A Touch of Venus.

Well, Martha, being a man, I usually don’t give you make-up advice, but are you sure you didn’t overdo it a little with foundation this morning?

That will never fit on the dashboard!

“Quick – Crete! She was bustier than that. Damn my eyes!”

“I’m just a pig of a male on a Shavian roll for shaping you out, Galatea, but ‘everybody must get stoned’ !”

Medusa strikes again.

“Great, now she’s decided she wants it to be a nude statue.”

♪ they all said johanne louise was not half bad…

He’s been sculpting and sculpting all night /

but he can’t seem to get it quite right../

But please don’t blame Walt /

For it isn’t his fault:/

she’s just not a pretty sight.///

Some women ain’t Hallie Berry

(Some women you pass – in a hurry)

This woman’s a force -

Of great progress a source -

But she just isn’t statuary…///

She’s the founder of two religions/

She’s changed history with her new visions/

And, when Walter is done/

She’ll begun a long run/

In the park as, a target – for pigeons.

His first try at sculpture and he had to admit that it really wasn’t a good likeness to Napoleon

Pygmalion thinking he’d like to rock this girl.

Bentzen’s butter sculpture was a masterpiece but unfortunately, it was summertime, and the temperature in the studio was rapidly rising …

“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!”

ELO:……https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDhJU_cNCZE&ab_channel=ELOVEVO

As luck would have it, the painter captured the exact fleeting moment our sculptor contemplated being intimate with his statue.

Having brought home many items from IKEA, I think it would fit in a Prius.

And then it struck him: he’d call his pal Pygmalion…but then he’d have to figure out how to reverse the effect when they reached the buyer’s place.

After he made his masterpiece “Butter Jesus”, “Butter Mother Mary” was kind of a letdown…

“A butter sculpture of Mrs. Butterworth. That’s what the kids call ‘meta’, right?”

How to Sculpt a Naked Lady:

Step 1: Sculpt a clothed lady.

Step 2: Keep sculpting.

G.B. Shaw thinking…Pygmalion?

Dump the Prius and get a pickup!

You would think he would have purchased a pick-up truck and taken advantage of the tax deduction for business expense during the shrub administration.

I saw a video of a friend putting his upright bass into a SmartCar (fully in, with all doors & the hatch closed, and the driver’s seat empty), so that might could go in a Prius.

The statue wasn’t the only rock hard thing in the room.

Regrettably, Geppetto had no success with his follow-on project.

The sculptor H. W. Bissen comtemplating his statue of Johanne Louise Heiberg: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Edvard_Bentzen_-_H.W._Bissen_betragter_sin_statue_af_Johanne_Louise_Heiberg_-_1893.png 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispricelessblog.com/2022/02/masterpiece-2885 

and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Okay. I’ve completed the first step. Now if I can just figure out how Geppetto did the next step.

he placed her on a pedestal, so what is she good for now, Luckly he doesn’t have to find out.

There was no way he would sculpt her standing over a subway grate.

https://youtu.be/DF7d-HdjBvE?t=80

Interesting bio of the sculptor’s subject. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johanne_Luise_Heiberg

((“Yeah, definitely f@#$ked that side of her face up.”))

In this painting, the sculptor, Herr Bissen

proclaims "this ain’t the gal I’ve been kissin’

On my sculpture they’re D cups,

in this painting just B cups

‘cause Ed Bentzen don’t know what he’s missin’ "

It’s one of those biblical tales/

In Which, somehow, morality fails/

And Yahweh comes down /

On the whole freaking town/

And the innocent also he nails.///

For Yahweh is Bursting with the wrath/

And some serious issues He hath/

And the righteous pay dearly/

Though they struggle sincerely/

To tread the virtuous path..///

I have therefore decided to leave/

Yahweh his own folk to aggrieve/

For it’s clear – if he’s there /

that He just doesn’t care/

So I don’t bother to believe.