Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for March 17, 2022

Bathmat Factory Complaint Form

Name: Randy B

Date: March 16, 2022

Title: Quality Assurance Goon

Department: Manufacturing Quality Control

Date and Time of Incident: February 2 through March 14, 2022

Location of Incident: Surplused Equipment Containment Vault

Description: The remains of a colony of carpet weasels were discovered when the obsolete Avocado Shag Bathmat Fluffing Conveyor was unsealed for decontamination, disassembly and recycling (February 2). Due to shoddy practices of the decontamination team, carpet weasel spores were allowed to infect two members of the disassembly crew, which was only discovered when they had begun their transformation and become infectious, shedding spores in the holding oubliette after becoming irrational, aggressive, and bitey (February 22). Quarantine was implemented, and treatment of the two infected employees was mostly successful. The decontamination team was compelled to deal with the aftermath and demonstrate the complete decontamination of the oubliette by confinement inside for two full incubation periods (March 2-14).

Witnesses: The decontamination team, the disassembly crew, the HR oubliette monitor, and the Quality Assurance Goon Squad.

Is this the first time you have raised this concern? No. The decontamination team would be fired if anyone else were willing to do the job.

Great, Frog Applause has been co-opted by Ylang Ylang Oil.

…I don’t know sign language from Froglandia finger art…

…but someone better wash their mouth out with ylang ylang oil…

…I didn’t say stop!…

…and after I put all that time putting the head lice into the boss’ coffee…

…Andron aftershave…

…I poured the ylang ylang oil onto her feet…

…and wiped it off with my hair…

…so begins the next Froglandia best seller…

…The Froglandia Best Cellar…

…written by the seller of, ‘Under The Bleachers,’ Seymour Butts…

I pledge, with every fiber of my being, to find a way to fit brachiosaurus puke crater into a sentence or die trying.

Oh, so when the were saying “Liang liang” before, they were being dyslexic?

This proves it! Head lice are a major cause of hyperactivity and hypertension.

Dawn Wells had a heck of a long series of credits. I wonder if Tina Louise had anything similar. (Too lazy to check at the moment.)

That is a unique form of sign language indeed. Very compact. Much like hieroglyphics.

My top five St. Patty’s Day joke punchlines:

5: That is, if you have the time.

4: What do you expect for a priest without a car?

3: I gave up drinking for Lent.

2: Do you mind if I pass it through me own kidneys first?

1: Patrick’s FitzMichael/ Michael Fitzpatrick

Now my head is itching….thanks

Put some Tiger Balm on it.

And here I thought the translation read: Lá Fhéile Pádraig Shona Duit!

Recent men’s hairstyles make me think big oil fears the death of fossil fuel & is shifting to greasy kid stuff.

Llame leave my yin yang out of the no green, then pinch his King Kong.

Patty O’Kneel

Ylang Ylang the lice are dead,

And now I can rest my head,

Feeling very mellow,

As I lay it on my favorite pillow …!

Jessica Lang..

Is this the Frog Applause version of the Y.M.C.A. Song? Originally composed as a curse to pacify and neuter the Overlords, now often sung as a rallying cry.

Darth Ylang

This is an incredible comic. So well done!!! Thank you Teresa!

Burning the midnight oil.

Burning the midnight oil and head lice. What happened to Ralph’s dreamy head of hair?

I noticed a few times ago, butt lice on the potty seat…

I don’t know American Sign Language (nor any other sign language), but I find it hard to accept the proffered translation. And, I doubt that any “oil” strong enough to kill head lice would at the same time promote relaxation. I suspect that Ylang Ylang Inc. is just conning us in a devious attempt to gain a commercial toehold in Froglandia! Beware, Ylang Ylangdians bearing gifts….