Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for March 18, 2022

Get out the turpentine, Martha, he was sleepwalking and fell in the asphalt trailer again!

Not that it matters… but is he wearing a polka dot mini-skirt or a pair of polka dot boxers? I, myself, prefer plaids for my boxers and solids for my mini-skirts. At first I thought those were hooker boots. How was he able to skip his mid-section but his head and top of his head and only his legs were asphalted.

Textually and sexually debased, da dum dum dum….

Have a V8 – https://youtu.be/mW0jfsPLWBY

He also felt somewhat emboldened, but he was not as bold as he might have been. There was some underlining problem that frequently caused him to strike out.

…Jeremy read on line that pantyhose were so out of fashion…

…that only grandmas wore them…

…since he was 18 he had his own pretend radio station…

…where he DJ’ed over the music he wanted to hear…

..1st with eight tracks…

…then with cassettes…

…finally with cds…

…now, no one even had a cd player…

…he no longer had a way to share edited songs, his clever and his minimalist voice overs…

…sharing sights wouldn’t allow these minor copyright infractions…

…Jeremy was figuratively tarred and feathered…

…but without the feathers…

…damn liberals with their progressive science that might as well be the devil’s magic…

…soon cars wouldn’t even have radios…

…and tvs wouldn’t have channels…

…he heard the clock ticking…

…tik tok…

…tik tok…

…tik tok…

So, normalized then. Averaged out to -14 LUFS over all.

He leans right into the italicized

Demorelized? Someone took his mushrooms?

Looks like he’s also bolded—upper and lower.

That’s true. Italicized letters all look like they’re about to lose their balance.

Hmmm! He seems to have been tarred but where are the feathers? Maybe this is why “they” call him a Tart behind his back…Nothings worse than standing out compared to others….it’s downright embarrassing, and distinguishably uncalled for.

Something to do with his default setting being Consolas instead of Ariel.

Who would do such a thing? I thought the Bathmat Factory had a zero tolerance policy for such childish mischief. Somebody knows something. There must be witnesses. The surveillance pickle is always watching… and Vlad is always ready to step in and take care of business 24/7. That’s just how he rolls.

He may be slightly off-center and but at least he’s not marginalized.

Doncha hate when your pen sploots?

Looks like he lost his serifs too

Tar and frog tounges..The mass has begun … Check weapons at door.

We got the tar on him, where in tarnation is the feathers?

Demoralized + Italicized = Ostracized …?

(insert parenthetical hypothesis here)

Pulling G’s to vomit, maybe four or five

I LOVE Italic food! Wait…..

pj’s pa jammies…

The team building seminar at the Bathmat Factory was mandatory, unless you could consume the entire mystery meatloaf without puking or crying.

Where are the feathers?

There are risks to visiting Italy.

Is that Ilene?

Harumph! This appears to be a badly botched job of tarring and feathering and then riding the rascal out of town on a rail. Clearly enough, he’s only half-tarred, and is completely lacking fecal plumage!

Such incompetence is unworthy of (purported) Froglandian Citizens Vigilance Committees. It just isn’t the same as back in the Good Old Days. Snort!

Why, in my day, Sonny, we knew how to deal with such persnickety rascals, yessir!