Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for May 09, 2022

Kids these days love Bob Ross. He’s wholesome. They like wholesome stuff, I guess because so much media aimed at everyone these days is full of jerks. If only they grew up in the 70s and 80s, when there weren’t so many jerks on TV…

A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”

Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.” A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!”

Until next time.

One more before I ride the gentle mare of sleep. This one came from Playboy many years ago.

So a young couple were out driving late, and got caught in a snowstorm. Wouldn’t you know it? The car stalls while they’re out in the middle of nowhere, and has to pull over to the side of the road.

The man pops the hood, exits the car & proceeds to examine the engine. After a few minutes, he returns inside to warm his hands.

His girlfriend offers,. “Here, put your hands in-between my thighs to warm them up faster.”

So, he inserts his frozen paws inside the fold of her soft, smooth legs & finds his hands warmed up at a swift pace. Once they were warm enough, he returned to the task of getting the car started.

Again, after a few minutes he returns to the driver’s seat & proceeds to warm up his hands in-between his lady’s legs.

His third trip outside lasted a few more minutes until, once again, he needed his significant other’s help in avoiding frostbite. He let out a deep sigh once the feeling returned to his fingers and that’s when his girlfriend’s expression changed. She looked him in the eyes & said in a soft voice:. “Baby, aren’t your ears cold, too?”

Until next time.

Re: Steve Silver, I hope he comes back to us sooner than Godot came to Estragon and Vladimir.

mbakerbr549 guffawed about 3 hours ago

@Gweedo it’s legal here Murray

Gweedo, you made me laugh till I hurt!

My work here is done. LOL !

Imagine being one of the soldiers taught by Bob Ross during his air force military days and then seeing him again in TV being one of the most chill and wholesome dudes painting landscapes. I kind of even doubt that they’d recognize their former instructor.

Good on Bob Ross. Or, as the Hindus call him, Bahbras.

The weather in Britain is not overly concerned with religious holidays.

So he yells at his easel.

Take care, tree hugging activist Julia “They Don’t Fart But They Bark” Hillord be with you, and gesundheit.

I farted in my church’s confession booth.

I said to the priest, “Forgive me father, for I have wind.”

Why should you not fart in an Apple store?

Because they don’t have windows.

So I bought a deodorant stick today. The instructions say, “remove cap and push up bottom.”

I can hardly walk, but when I fart the room smells lovely.

My drill sergeants didn’t yell; they simply expressed themselves in a tone that could be heard by all.

Bob Ross and my dear, departed father: Both military training instructors and both excellent artists! Who knew?

You can learn a lot from Bob, even if you don’t paint

I read once that all of Bob Ross’ paintings were locked up in a warehouse somewhere. You can’t buy them. You can’t even find them. Sort of as an investment tactic – because each day that goes by they go up in value. Also – for each painting he created on his 30 minute tv show, he painted 4 or 5 canvases of the same scene – one or two for practice, one for saving, and so on.

Let’s tax that forest! Another death tax and carbon tax in one

How dare you, trees. How dare you, nature.

Thank you for casting the late Bob Ross in this panel – amen!!

I fondly remember watching Bob Ross’ show. He was painting a sunrise hillscape with many trees in the foreground, and some in shadow in the back.

He had put a lot of detail in the foreground tree and wanted to add a dash of color to it. He pulled up ochre, or as he explained, ocher in American English. Bob said this was to be the reflection of the sunrise color from the tree. Bob told us ochre is a natural clay earth pigment, a mixture of ferric oxide and varying amounts of clay and sand and was a nice warm yellow.

Well, when he put that dash of ochre on the tree, it looked liked poop brown. He worked at it a bit, then determined to fix the problem, he scooped the “poop” off the picture and used it to highlight the bark.

His voice never rising above the normal melancholy calm he always had. After redistributing the brown, he pulled another tube of yellow, and got the highlight he was working for. I remember him saying, even a mistake can be made right, as long as you remain calm and work on a solution.

in mn its the same likelihood for snow lol