That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for April 26, 2022

Glinda the Good Witch, before the diet

If she tilts any further, she’s gonna fall down.

Susy never got over playing princess from when she was young.

Yet another redhead, but still no foxes.

/// It would take quite a lot to surprise her,

(after all, she’s the wife of the Kaiser).

Augusta Viktoria

was filled with euphoria

from her hefty investments in Pfizer.

I’m not Victoria!

I’m AUGUSTE VIKTORIA!

Auguste always had a secret desire to be a third base coach giving the signal for a squeeze play.

When she thought that Albert promised her a quickie,

Greatly aroused was Queen Vicky,

But all she got was a dam’ hickey.

“Albert kissed me on the neck; does that mean we’re engaged, or does it mean I’ll get pregnant?”

All I remember is “float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee.” Oh, and halitosis that could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.

What a pain in the neck that Lord Impaler is!Clearly, I had to tell him: “We are not amused!” And that bloviating equerry with the spicy stories at dinner, We hinted Vlad might consider putting the bite on him !

“Oh my. I’d love to see THAT gardener’s tool.”

“Oh my! It seems I have a hedgerow in my bustle!”

But don’t be alarmed now

“Does this dress make my breasts look big?”

“Preussens Gloria” ! (Prussia’s Glory -you can hear it on YouTube)

Guys…I think Victoria was dark haired in her youth, not strawberry blonde.

Society matron thinking,”I’m dressed for the ball…wonder when it is?”

Poor Augusta, starting to feel a little stressed and under prussia. (maybe take a pepto bismark?)

Alright if I scratch my itchy neck?

An artist only paints what he sees, / But his subject seems to have some unease. / She’s right to suspect / That yesterday’s subject / Left the artist’s studio infested with fleas!

This tangible touch is a sign/That I’m probably doing just fine/So when I see the likes/Of the drums and the pikes/“Off with their heads!” – I think I’ll keep mine.

Auguste is bustin’ out all over!

Lady Featherington??

Or same height shoes to straighten her up

Gussie was always a tad over-sensitive about the birthmark on her neck. She was afraid that people might think it was a hickey.

Does this tiara make my butt look fat?

“Be very quiet. She’s liable to break out into some opera song if she is startled.”

She’s got room for a spread eagle tattoo on her chest.

“Excuse me, but my breasts are down there.”

Out for a stroll in the park, the Queen hopes no one will mistake her hiking outfit as a sign that she’s turned sloven. Or Slovakian even…

Now where did I leave my carriage keys?

My left heel broke off … that’s what I get for wearing them on a forest walk!

Empress Augusta Victoria of Schleswig-Holstein: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"File:Clara M Hawkes Auguste Viktoria.jpg" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Yandex, Bing, Yahoo, Duckduckgo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and chose the first Category: or File: link found, and if it’s Category:, click its image link (the File: link found by other search engines) for info and links that point to more info (best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2919 (April 26, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by her used here.

When asked, a friend said she always told people she wanted to be a princess when she grew up. She said she never understood why this caused laughter.

Albert was the only one who knew that if you pulled the string at her bosom, the entire dress fell off.

" You think I look good in this outfit, just wait ’til you see me in my Brazilian Thong Bikini! "

https://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/2022/04/26?ct=v&cti=1538392

Ann Bolyn checking to see if head still attached.

Stick my head through this hole, so that you can paint me? Like this?

There it is—the first tick of spring.

Disney had to rehire some aging princesses to save on the budget after losing their tax break in Florida!

Fancy that! The glass slipper actually fit!