Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for May 19, 2022

the cartoon manatee needs a manatee-icure

Even in this age of jet travel, we still rely on trains for much of our transportation needs. However, they occasionally – even in The United States — run on time…

A train is just leaving the station when a young man comes running up, throws his valise inside, and jumps aboard just in time. As he stands in the doorway, huffing and puffing, trying to catch his breath, and older man who had been watching says to him, “Youngster, you’re out of shape! When I was your age, I could have run to this train and jumped aboard without breaking a sweat.”

“That may be, old man,” the youth replies. “But I’ve been chasing this train since the last station!”

Someone probably got a Million dollar government study grant to find out how fast a ladybug can fly.

This was an exceptionally good Believe it or not.

Jeremiah the Bullfrog drinks his wine through the drinking patch on his belly, and he always has some mighty fine wine.

When Ladybird flew away home, it wasn’t fast enough.

And when the Manatees get together under the hair dryers at the salon all you hear is “So I told Mabel….”

Take care, may prolific lady bug wing dot counter Jean-Henri “We Have To Know These Things” Fabrord be with you, and gesundheit.

The frog I dissected in high school didn’t have a patch on his stomach. Then again I likely sliced right through it and didn’t notice.

it’s an “innie” belly button – need more calcium in their diet – and when they hit you in the side of the head instead of whizzing by – IT HURTS! – so 3 “believes” today

What a drag.

Some ladybugs pace themselves at 32 mph and sprint to the finish line at 38, most notably, Bug-O-War!

ACTUAL INCIDENT FROM YEARS AGO

Headline in New York City paper—-“Prominent New Yorker commits suicide.Jumps from top floor of Sheraton Hotel”/

On the same page,a prepaid advertisement read—“Always try the Sheraton Hotel first”.

My girlfriend and I were talking about pets. She loves the whales and such, but as they’re so large, she said she’d like to get a manatee.

I just laughed and said, “Two sugars, please.”

Of course jockeys are smaller than average, BUT even RBION can’t find one who is small enough to ride a ladybug! BTW, why are there no LORDbugs?!?

Male ladybugs and female manatees experience severe gender confusion

I’m thinking a lot of Americans have that drink patch in their stomachs – but they need to empty them every now and then.

Relevancy to anything in Ripley’s?

I went snorkeling with the Manatees in Florida nearly 30 years ago. They were very gentle creatures. People are forbidden from harassing them (swimming towards them, etc.) but the Manatees may approach people. And they do. They’re quite curious about people.

I apologize in advance to anyone offended by this joke.

A Spanish sailor and a French sailor are talking at a port bar together. The French sailor tells the Spanish sailor that he’s been hearing stories of mermaids from the English sailors. The Spanish sailor says that mermaids are just a myth and the English just mistook manatees for mermaids. The French sailor asks how could you mistake a manatee for a mermaid? The Spanish sailor responds “Have you seen English women?”

Until next time.