Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 20, 2022

I used to believe in Alta Vista, but my faith was misplaced.

Edgy!

If Google is all-knowing, why does it keep trying to sell me stuff that I already bought?

If Google is so powerful, why is Twitter allowed to exist?

I’m a half-assed agnostic, but I do believe in the Devil—because the Devil is within us!

As Larry the Croc says, “Kill Da Google!”

I would love to post a serious comment about how sad it is that so few people believe in the One True God, but I realize how may people would comment that God does not exist, and that I am an idiot for believing in God.

If you are one of those people, I would love to sit down with you to have a discussion on God, and let you know how I found my faith, but there are some problems with that.

1 – There is verry little chance that we will ever know who each other actually is.

2 – There is a high probability that you mind is already fixed am unwilling to see any other side of the discussion.

it’s been a while since we’ve seen the “KEEL DA GOOGLE!!!” source joke.

Blasphemy, Goat!

Here’s a link to the classic ‘KEEL DA GOOGLE’ strip from 2010.

https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2010/01/08

Google has no soul, lots of heels are on it though!

Google is here to make money, along with other online entities. Their bottom line is all they care about. Keep clicking.

If I die before I wake, pray to Amazon my soul to take?

(In case you’re not familiar), here are 2 versions of the “actual” prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee, Lord, my soul to keep; See me safely through the night, And wake me with the morning’s light. Amen.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee, Lord, my soul to keep; If I die before I wake, I pray thee Lord my soul to take. Amen.

Googoyles

Goat: Google is deadGoogle: Goat is dead

I believe in chocolate.

I have always believed that computers are the work of the devil. What, haven’t you seen someone sitting at a comptuer keyboard taking the Lord’s name in vain?

€£_§><{~#&(%& Google!

I always end my prayers to the shrines of Alexa and Google home with, “And please be benevolent when you take over. Amen.”

ALL HAIL GOOGLEISM

Should be I pray the Google my personal info to keep.

Thankfully, Google isn’t and never will be that powerful.

I will follow dear old Buddha cause there is nobody cuter, comes in plastic, wood or pewter, and that’s good enough for me. P. Seeger

Now you’ve done it. Forget ordering anything again. You’re house just disappeared from the map.

Google — the god of power and wealth

Googol — the god of numbers

Googolplex — the god of numeric gods

DuckDuckGo, baby!

Judging by the decline of morality, the “anything is OK” mindset, and lack of civility in our country, I’d say that many people would answer: “NO” to the question in panel #1.

Odd. When I searched google for “google god”, this comic didn’t show up. But it did list churchofgoogle.org.

yes yes yes

Now I lay me down to sleep….I hope I don’t wake up next to a creep…..

Scrat is God!

If Google is God, then the dark web is Heck. I got tired of scrolling through several pages of ads disguised at search results so I now use DuckDuckGo.

Well, Google knows when you’ve been bad or good. Or what you’re thinking. But it mostly just lies in wait. . . .

One better believe in God. He will be here soon. Enough is enough.

KEEL DA GOOGLE

No Pig, at best, which itself is questionable, Google is just a hearld for what Goat is talking about. Considering Google is a search engine, it is highly questionabled that it is a hearld even.

What about the eternal God Lycos?

Once again Mr Pastis touches a nerve…well done! And if anyone wants to have a non-judgmental faith discussion, lemme know…

Now I lay me down to sleep; a bag of peanuts at my feet. If I should die before I wake, give them to my brother Jake. – Father Mulcahy.

Uncomfortably close to true, except that Google is more like Lucifer….

i love pig’s belly button!