Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for June 23, 2022

Do it in song form. That’s the most efficient way to burn it.

Kinda like How Roger from “American Dad.” needs to be a jerk or else he’ll die.

oh, we so don’t want to see the mass extinction of unicorns rambling about their narcissism to non-unicorns

Wait, so how has Lord Splendid Humility not exploded by now?

A unicorn exploding is sadly a beautiful sight. All the sparkles and flashes of color and …..

“I started out as a colt”? She starts!

This gives an entirely different meaning to “swelling with pride”! :D

Maybe she should start a podcast.

Seems like a low bar. I don’t want most people to explode, even the ones I hate. It would be messy.

Today, June 23rd, and my lovely Unicorn Balloon is still with us! She’s becoming softer, more velvety, but still inflated and round! She is now 12 days old! A fine ripe old age for a helium balloon. She is spending her “golden days” on my nightstand.

I wouldn’t want her to explode either!

.

People would probably expect me to clean that up.

MARIGOLD: “There was once a unicorn named Taffeta Brilliance Unlimited. For one brief moment, she allowed herself to withhhold her non-stop ability to talk about herself, and……….” / PHOEBE: “And?” / MARIGOLD: “Fortunately, we found enough of her scattered around to enable herself to be whole again. Not many unicorns can do that.” / PHOEBE: “Really?” / MARIGOLD: “Taffeta did have to wait until she grew another cheek.”

Ah yes, keeping you from exploding. That’s what friends are for!