Mannequin on the Moon by Ian Boothby and Pia Guerra for June 17, 2022

Coffee Flambé?

Better say yes.

Yes, please. Sub-incandescent, please. And please don’t set fire to my beard again. Had to go to Bosley, and it took months to take root and fill in again.

Hot stuff

A few days ago I was asked by a paramedic “What’s your name, hon?” I told him “It’s NOT hon!!” I got a new doctor and the guy who works the desk has called be darling and dear. Each time I told him “Don’t call me that!!”

Yes, to heating up my coffee. No, I am not a Hun. And you don’t want me to be.

“That’s ‘Mr. Attila’ to you.”

There was this guy always called everybody ‘Bud’… One day, in somewhat a sour mood, I said to him “My name’s not Bud, but if you don’t know it, just call me ‘Sir’.”

“Sure. You don’t mind if I get up and stand behind you, do you, dear?”

Now THAT’S how it’s done, son!

Nobody can sass like a truck stop diner waitress at 2 a.m. One seventy-something waitress gave my brothers and I the finest display of professional sass I had ever seen at a little place in Texas. I told her I’d been married to a woman older than she was. She told me she’d buried three husbands out back and asked if I wanted to see them. She got a BIG tip. She told us you have to come on strong with truckers in the middle of the night or they would just sit there, stare at the menu and starve to death. :)

Um, no thanks. I’m good.

she’s got nasty hot flashes…