Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 05, 2022

Morning people should stay in bed until noon.

Unnecessary chatter is bad for your health

I am not a morning person. You have been warned.

If he’s not a morning person, then why is he up but doing nothing?

Rat is still drunk from yesterday night.

If God had meant for people to get up with the sunrise, he would have scheduled it for later in the day.

A word to the wise: Never approach somebody, anybody, until they’ve had their first cup of coffee.

“A blessing given loudly in the morning will be taken as a curse”

Rat is a warning by himself.

R – rage; A – atrocious; T – temperament

I just watched a brief clip of Curly singing “Oh What a Beautiful Morning.” Pig would not be amused.

Pig, couldn’t you see the little hangover bubbles circling his head?

“Good Morning “ is an oxymoron.

I LOATHE people who get up bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning!

“Hey, why does everyone that talks to me carry a TASER?”

Rat is not just a non-morning “person”. You might get a similar response from him to just about anything at any time of the day.

Just for saying “howdy-doo” was enough to justify Rat

Have to get up early to get stuff done!

Greet each day with a smile …. and somebody will resent you.

Unfortunately, many non-morning types are non-warning, too.

I’m with Garfield on this subject – The only thing wrong with mornings is that they come too early in the day.

Wait till non-morning people are fully awake.

Someone needs to kick Rat’s a$$. The good, happy people keep getting pushed around; time to rise up and take back the world from the crazy and the bad.

By now you should know who is and who isn’t!

Do not talk to me until I’ve had enough coffee. “Enough” could take hours.

Me grumpiest in mornings.

I don’t mind mornings very much anymore since I retired.

No, morning people should come with warnings. They’re the one who are awake enough to give them, so it should be their responsibility. That seems fair to be, but I might just not be awake enough to see the issue with it.

I have a t-shirt featuring It’s Happy Bunny by Jim Benton that says Morning People Cheerfully Slapped :)

We do come with a warning, Don’t Talk to Me Until I’ve Finished My Coffee!!

Rat understands that violence is not an answer. It is but a constant question one must ask themselves. However, in Rat’s case, the answer is usually yes.

I had a son who would get up, shower, eat breakfast & be driven to school without a word!!!

I like the saying, will rise but don’t expect me to shine!!!

Bwahaha

Oy! I get things done in the morning…if it’s not done by Noon, forgettaboutit!

I have my own early morning warning. “Lemmelone”, translated to “Leave me alone”. My wife and daughter actually had t-shirts made up with a skull and crossbones and “lemmelone” printed underneath. Tee hee

I am not now, nor have I ever been, nor will I ever be, a “morning person.” This is well known to all who know me since I’m in my eighth decade. Yet in spite of this common knowledge, there are those who will wish me a hearty and cheerful “Good Morning!” That is why I do not celebrate birthdays. Instead, I commemorate another annual escape of the gallows.

Here’s my warning: Do not talk to me on summer days before 8 AM unless it’s an emergency.

I find 9 o’clock AM is a reasonable compromise.

As a non-morning person, I have come to the conclusion that morning people rule the world. Most of my jobs have entailed my having to get up two to three hours before my body wanted to get up. To make matters worse, I’m an introvert, so having to deal with morning people who are also extroverts, is torture.

I know this is no revelation to regulars, but Rat really is an anti-social psychopath – so, fun at a story

Agreed.

Keep talking, Pig, and you won’t see daylight!

The problem isn’t that non-morning people don’t come with a warning, it’s that stupid morning people never heed it.

I’m a morning person.Three mornings after I get up.

We do come with a warning – the cold stare that says “get the F out of my face!”

You’d think all the times Rat had beat him up in the past for talking in the morning would serve as a warning

Still a good idea to socially distance yourself. Stay at an arms length or better more than that.

If you can’t beat ’em,……. BLUDGEON ’em.

You wouldn’t expect to find a non-morning person in the morning.

The warning label for Rat: ‘DO not talk or make eye contact ever. For best results, remain on the other side of the street.’

Um… just how long have you known Rat? And you still need a warning? Sorry, but you earned that beating, fair and square.

You asked for it, Pig. Here it is: I am a non-morning person! Okay? You have been warned….

Yes, yes we should.

I hope Rat didn’t break his coffee cup