Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 25, 2022

After four ex-es, now Wiley tells me.

Alcohol always has been a truth serum. It makes people do stupid things

Where are Ted and Alice?

Some people have a lot of fun wasting time.

It must have a delayed effect. He gave his real name.

Where would we be if we always told the truth? Probably non-existent, seeing as how at LEAST once among our ancestors one of the couples wouldn’t have done that.

Did Mike graduate from Hogwarts and then have trouble landing a high paying job?

Yes, I think there’s some real chemistry there.

I delivered to a customer today whose name was “Dnae”, and the restaurant asked me to confirm the name and the spelling. I said like the little girl in the Deathstroke t-shirt from “Non Sequitur”, but without the first A, and the employee immediately knew who I was talking about.

I believe that a certain amount of cynicism is called for. It helps one get through the day, and through life…

Hey, Mike, please find a way to slip your latest formula into the water supply of the big house with the round ceiling in DC. Comedy’s been way too scarce there lately.

If truth serum was legal to obtain, I’d love to dump it into the water supply in Washington DC and the state capitols.

Everybody looks fabulous after a couple of drinks!!

So … is it a date?

And this is why I never go to bars.

Sounds like Mike drank the kool aid, too.

“This is the way the whirl ends / Not with a bang but a simper.”

— T.S. (Tough Sh-t) Bob

Carol looks a lot like Danae and kate’s mom Victoria.

I don’t know, sounds like they’re perfect for each other.

As they say – ‘In vino veritas’ …

But he took a shot to his sales for the team(s).

I prefer a little more time to get to the bottom line. I just want some company, not a company.

Morning Wiley, good one, your right on as usual! Good day

Bob — Sensitive? Caring? What?? With that morose face and closed stance? Who would think that? He needs to do his drinking at Flo’s. At least he’d have Cap’n Eddy for entertainment and distraction.

Either that or she just discovered a great way to get rid of guys she’s not interested in.

Wait. Are you trying to tell me that there are some women out there, over 30 whose first search criteria for a man isn’t their net worth? If this fabled creature does exist, I’ve never encountered her. My attempts to meet women typically end after these words… " My name is Bob. I work in retail." Those words inspire Olympic quality sprints from the most out of condition women you can imagine.

Actually, they seem like they deserve each other.

I got lucky. I never had to play this game. Even as a teenager.

I had an older sister and from her learned all the stupid things girls did to to attract boys. From my peers, I learned all the stupid things boys did to attract girls.

So I decided to “play my hand straight.” I met my wife at a high school dance when I was 16. We’ve been together since then. This is why I believe in a God. At 16, I seldom made good decisions. The only logical explanation is Divine Intervention.

Ah, but they missed out on all of the fun stuff in between.

Some people don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Go for it, big guy. Who’s to say, you won’t win, where the others failed?

My future best man’s wife had a fairly hot friend, surgically enhanced and all. When I was treading water in the dating pool, he said he could fix me up with her.

Some time earlier he had told me how some guy had given her a bracelet, which she immediately took to a jeweler to get appraised.

Nope. My pension was a long way from what she would have considered acceptable.

After I was dating The Bride, I met the hot friend at a tennis club. Later, she asked my buddy why he hadn’t fixed us up. She had no idea how I had saved her some time.

LOL, That is a Truth Serum I would love to see in Congress’s Drinking Water.

IF only!

Would’ve saved me +2yrs . . .

Now all we need is Ted and Alice.

The truth serum is good, but we really need a fountain of youth serum which will make everyone more attractive

Wait a minute — this implies that we’re SUPPOSED to care about things which don’t directly affect us? What the..

It could be worse. He could have said, “I killed my first two wives and made it look like an accident. If you play your cards right, you can be number three.” I’ve seen several true crime shows in which this was the case.

As a former bartender and bar fly there is a whole a lot of truth to this toon!

I think it’s great, for the most part. When in our cups, my associates and I have solved most of the world’s great problems. Only downside is that nobody wrote it down.

“Blue suit” reminds me of Nixon.

I want some of that stuff.

Welcome to Stories From the Alcohol of Fame

I mean… does that really stop some people from having sexy times..?

Bob and Carol… where are Ted and Alice?

They seem compatible to me, if only short-term.

“So, now that that’s all out the way, you wanna screw?”

I didn’t know that Bob is from Canuckistan

I’m not sure whether that’s a brilliant business model or not….

When did Bob grow a mustache ?

I thought they were going to say something like, “Oh, great, we’re made for each other!”

I had a date with this 23-year old who later told me she was looking for a man with lotsa dinero. She was a looker in a ‘false eyelashes-halter-top-bottle-blond’ sorta way, but rather airhead-flakey-bimbo. She may have realized she was just arm-candy. I didn’t have the heart to tell her what would happen when her ‘sugar daddy’ dumped her for another 23-year-old piece of arm-candy. She’s about 70 now, and I hope her life turned out happy.

After that truth serum, Number 2 should be easy to do.

Is That where Mike Callahan moved his bar after Key West?

I doubt either of them intended a relationship beyond one night anyway so it wouldn’t have been “wasted” time.