Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for October 12, 2022

One should always have a plan of getting up off the floor. Before getting down on the floor.

Yep, that’s one of them spring-loaded mats!

Yeah, getting back up is the real 12 step program.

As a Congregational Nurse, my wife teaches CPR to a number of different groups.

As a geriatric Congregational Nurse, she sets up the dummy on a table so she does not have to get down on the floor.

She kids about this and says, ’Step 1: Set up a table and put the patient on it."

When she can’t set up a table, she asks for a squad of volunteers to get her off the floor.

Youth groups are impressed that this gray-haired grandma can bring up the BeeGee’s “Staying Alive” on her phone.

Plans are one thing. Convincing the body to cooperate is another.

Exactly

A couple was in bed sleeping, when suddenly the woman hears a door slam outside, she wakes up scared and tells the man sleeping with her:

‘Hurry get up and jump out the window, its my husband!’

The man half asleep gets up in a hurry and jumps out the window.

Five minutes latter he walks back in and says to her: ‘You dumb as$, I am your husband!’

When I was young, I wouldn’t have related to the gag here. Now at age 57, I relate all too well.

getting up is easy, the getting down is the hard part for me

My you are getting old aren’t you?

I have no trouble rolling out of bed in the morning. It’s the getting up off the floor that IS the problem…

You’d like “clap on clap off” lighting.

The best open space for what I laughingly describe as exercise is the living room. It has a coffee table that i can roll to. Then I can get up on my knees and hoist myself upright. Unfortunately, it is right in front of the bay window, and I exercise nude.

That’s what I like about my streaming excercise videos, it often involves functional movements. There is one video that involves getting up from the floor and back down again while dancing.

For some..there is NO plan that will get them off the floor. Just getting up is a full day exercise in futility. (Not me!!! YET)