Herman by Jim Unger for October 20, 2022

As long as I get to try out the sledgehammer on your head first.

He wants a tool with good craftsmanship, not one of those cheap “Made in China” knock-offs. That junk is likely to crack in his very first door jamb.

Sure. Just let me call the cops, so they can give you pointers on your style.

It’s getting harder to find an unlocked door these days, gotta be prepared.

“What do I look like? A tool?”

Come back after 5. We’re closed then and the dogs are given the run of the store.

“Try it before you buy it.”

The customer is always right.

Might be best to avoid having him for a customer.

I think he has pryers.

Don’t forget the bolt cutters, for those pesky padlocks and chain link fences.

Why, yes, yes you may. I’ve used other of my selection of tools to set that door to vaporize intruders, and I’ve been wanting to test it out.