Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for November 15, 2022

I’m still fig-ling out the rules to these steps.

Fig. 1: The Reproachful Pistachio Shells.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21704666/

Will nobody think of the poor fig wasps?

…this little ditty was originally a Froglandia jump rope jingle…

…back when girls…

….(and Fred)…

…were allowed to jump rope during recess…

…too bad the Nixon administration put an end to it…

…called not only the ditty …

…but even the jump roping, itself, antiwar…

… in truth…

…it really was when it was started back in the war to end all wars…

…you hear it, now, don’t cha?…

…the Beatles’, ‘I Saw Her Standing There’ …

….was supposedly based on this very jump rope riff…

…from The History of Froglandia- You Couldn’t Make This Stuff Up Vol. IV. …

Fig urings in the garden of stepping stones. Three foot long makes the yard go round.

Step up for the disco…

Who gives these figs?

be careful figs can be slippery when squished

I saw a lot of figs in Morocco. They were on plates, not steps.

Make like a frontiersman and finally space out.

Too many rules, too many steps, not enough wasps, not enough nests.

Watch out for those dropping figs ! Squishing under foot! Ew

Keep climbing higher and higher, til you reach the top…..then FLY, PRETTY LADY FLY❗️❗️❗️

And don’t give a hoot about that pickled flying fig of fate! Land where you may, and refresh with a cool lemonade and a Fig Newton!

put graphics & words in a blender

I spent all weekend painting those figs. AD&D night will be ruined.

Two figs are too many …!

( p.s. I live in an area that used to be a fig orchard )

( p.p.s. It took years for the sprouts to stop popping up )

For shame. Newton is rolling in his grave. Me, I don’t give a fig.

As instructed, I went through the events of the previous day, step by step, leaving out no details. But I carefully left out any personal information that could be used to emulate “psychic” awareness. I was quite nearly certain that the “cure” would be one requiring a moderate payment from myself, and a round of rituals, such as “smudging” with sage to drive off evil spirits, burning anointed candles or placing seven herbs and splices into a sachet, or perhaps a bucket of chicken. Or maybe it would be the heart of a mouse and claw of a lizard, with a bit of graveyard soil, that I would have to wear as a necklace pendant. I loved the inventive and imaginative means of fleecing the ignorant that sprang from the minds of the garden variety psychic practitioner. They were all so incredibly involved and pointless, lending them the authority of being outside the realm of random nonsense.

The figs are slippery, dangerous. It’s something to worry sbout.

Slippery figs. What every step needs.

For the love of all that’s holy! Don’t step on a fig! Figs when squashed can be very slippery, and you might fall and bust your caboose! Also, figs are good for eating (unsquashed)! Let’s get real here; what do think this is, some lame cartoon strip?

Fig yer ascending stairs.

Fig meant of the imagination.

…except he didn’t say fig…

…figgy pudding…

…with bacon…

…{come on…

…I know at least a few of you know that one}…

…the chicken is something something something…

…but the turkey is committed…

…three cheers for Terry…

… Hip Hip Hooray!…

..Hip Hip Hooray!…

…Hip Hip Hooray!…

…figs on the steps is how you make toe jam…

Only the rich will receive a brain cell too thinking of putting figgy pudding on the said steps.

Don’t step on another’s toes.

Paint a picture it takes longer.

Da Blog:

Just checked out “Bob the Angry Flower” by Stephen Notley & have a question for Steve: Since you are a Canadian trans*plant* (snerk) living in Seattle, how does Bob feel about the hammer-wielding illegal Canadian transplant now stuck in San Francisco …?

( too soon? )

Day 2. Okay; just watch your step, for fig’s sake!