Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 03, 2023

Rat will either have an epiphany, or he will have to chew his arm off to get away from where and with whom he will wake up the next morning.

Let him be, Goat. You are not going to change any of that.

According to Rat, enlightenment is in the eyes of the beer-holder

Soon Rat will be heading for the restroom, and after he comes out he just might be lighter.

Only 5 beers to grt lit up? Rat needs to work on his tolerance.

More beers for more cheers.

I’M ON RAT’S SIDE!

Time to post this again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzNZyHBPfh4

Tha word rat is looking for is smartass

Or total black out

He’s going to whiz like a race horse for the rest of the night.

Be of Stout heart! Don’t be at Lager-heads! (Sorry- this is just a rough Draft.)

Four syllable words after the 4th beer. I guess that’s some American beer. Won’t happen in Europe.

At least Rat didn’t insult the bartender.

Prepare for a visit to the porcelain throne room!

Not sure how this works with beer, but….

One tequila,

Two tequila,

Three tequila,

Floor.

Smartosity, seems legit.

Smartosity. Nope. I won’t work that into my lexicon.

It’s been over a year since I’ve had a beer, but I’m looking forward to having one on February 15, right after I give my dissertation defense.

The key to enjoying beer is quality, not quantity. I don’t mind paying $10 – $12 for a sixer of high quality beer (and I prefer beer that I can not see through). And two is my limit.

Six beers may not bring total enlightenment. But it comes close.

One more beer, andRat will become invisible.

they need to color the glasses better so they look empty and not still full of golden goodness.

“A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Cheers

Rat is gonna ruin his liver.

Just don’t let him drive.

Shortly to be followed by the Darwin Award prep remarks, “Hold my beer and watch this!”

Goat is right. Any master of the Czech mystic art of pohoda will tell you that enlightenment is achieved by drinking just the right amount of beer. That’s why pacing is so important: Rat has apparently been guzzling his beer instead of sipping it, and went over the top of the mountain without noticing it.

Could we see more strips featuring the Guard Duck? I miss him.

There’s no stopping RAT! Once he gets something in his head….

It doesn’t work that way, Rat.

Beer is for washing down crabs and pizza. For enlightenment, drink whiskey.

A few more beers and he will reach “ten feet tall and bulletproof.”

If you drink Bud Light, you become enlightened. Simple as that.

Yet another comic strip drawn from personal experience.

15 days since I bottled my new brew…time to test for Enlightenment!

https://youtu.be/pm-zduI7zcE

Judging by his speech and demeanor, Rat can hold his drink rather well. His intoxication levels seem low.

Not so smart Rat when you tossity your guts after all those beers…

Give Rat a “Nasty Canasta Special”

I’m sorry, but enlightenment and smartosity have nothing to do with each other.

I’ll have to find my book, but there’s a poem in which tea is supposed to be the method to nirvana, but the narrator never reaches there because after his third or fourth cup he is too full to finish the pot andc reach nirvana. The same thing could be said about too much beer. After X number of beers you don’t get smarter. Your just too drunk to realize how stupid you really are and are mistaking you’re own drunken stupidity for being smart. Rat’s already past that point.

I am so glad I never touch the stuff.

How much beer in those mugs?

Smartosity all around, barkeep! (Put it on Rat’s tab.)

It’s the most wonderful time … for a beer!

’bout as good as sitting with your legs in a knot, moaning “Ommmmmmm”

He’s already smartitudinous!

Will that be the famous “one too many”?