Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 16, 2023

Could have also asked for dessert.

Did he think to take the lamp home with him?

Why not a lifetime supply of pizza and beer

At least he didn’t get a 12 inch pianist.

If there is any wish I want, is that the healing machine from the movie, Elysium, actually existed, or the technology to get a new healthy body, like the classic Twilight Zone the Trade Ins, from season 3. If granted three wishes, that truth and honesty was told by the press and politics.

Ask the genie how he manages to live forever without the bad memories of being stuck in the bottle.

Good choice pig good choice

Ask him where I can get a red vest like that.

For me, world peace and having a billion dollars, tax free. Don’t worry, I only intend to keep enough to live frugally every day on past retirement. The rest go to others who need it more than I do.

Just 1 billion? You would be looked down on by the multi-billionaires.

I would wish for a million more wishes……

A lifetime supply of pizza and beer.

I guess I’d just start with the Lord’s prayer.

Pig is lucky he came upon a magic genie. Imagine his disappointment if it had been a common muggle one.

Well you has one more wish left Pig. Genies gives three.

A much better choice

I’m surprised Rat didn’t take the beer from Pig

Nice of that genie to warn Pig about the dangers of immortality. If I were him, I’d have wished for pirate gold.

Don’t make the mistake of asking for eternal life without also asking for eternal youth.

You completely wasted that wish Pig

That Genie was just being stingy with his granting wishes!

Good call. Minus the beer.

Be careful what you wish for.

Wanna live forever? Not on this Earth. That’s called torture.

I’d go back in time to my youth, and stay there

Really, REALLY good advice from the genie.

Surprised Pig didn’t ask for cheese.

Eternal conscious life is a certain trip to madness. Whoever first created a myth that religion was a path to everlasting life just didn’t think it through. To remain sane, you’d need periodic memory wipes, so it wouldn’t really be you. So you’ve already got what you want. You die. You’re gone. Someone else is born. They don’t have the experience of your life. They’re just as if you still lived but with your memory wiped. The reality is that the universe goes on. Happily, the illusion of your life does not.

A philosophical genie is just what we need,

I do not wish to live forever. I imagine that some time after the end of the universe I would become quite bored.

What I would wish for is to be able to squat on my haunches and scratch my ears with my back feet.

This would require that I be given the ability to change my shape at will and that, in turn, would require the existence — on this planet, at this time — of a being or beings immensely superior to us. Gods, genies, aliens ……… I believe in none of them.

A billion years of accumulated pain? Sounds a lot like my job.

Should have wished for a billion dollars, to be added to his bank account, and not 1 billion $1 dollar bills dumped on top of him.

did Rat wander off while Pig was making his wish?

why does Pig have to explain the otcome to him?

he was there! (initially, anyway)

" I am creating new heavens and a new earth, and the former things will not be called to mind, nor will they come up into the heart". Isaiah 65:17 …..just a thought…

Just take it one day at a time.

The mistake is thinking that the soul dies and that life is over at physical death. Jesus showed otherwise.

obviously not the Jafar genie.

First of all you get 3 wishes, so this genie is a ripoff. But if I had only one question I would qualify it, like “I want to live a painless and joyful life forever in a world that is peaceful & beautiful, the air, water and land are clean, the food and resources are abundant and there are no mean people.”

Pig gets a revelation on the fine things in life.

And NO wishing for more wishes!….

OK, then….

……More Genies!

A billion more years of accumulated pain is but a taste of Hell. Hell is an eternity of accumulated pain.

As clichéd and trite as is sounds, peace on earth would have to be one of my wishes. Can you imagine the opportunities that would arise from this one wish? Honestly, it’s hard to imagine needing anymore wishes.

Unless you could pick a moment when in your life when you were in perfect health and keep that condition, living forever would be hell.

Immortality, no, but I’d like the ability to recover completely from any non-fatal injury or illness.

Not bad for a freebie, Pig….

Excellent decision, Pig. Although I’d probably choose a margarita to go with the pizza.

Good choice.

Honestly, i didnt think pig drunk