That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 28, 2023

It was only after the experiment was completed did Professor Hendricks realize he forgot to wind his watch.

/// Note the time as a test tube is heated;

the experiment still not completed.

Doc Pugh needed to know

why reactions were slow.

Watched his watch while the whole thing’s repeated.

/// They’re distilling the blood of a crab

to create a vaccine they can jab.

No success for eight years,

then, the thing Doc most fears—

a rogue virus escapes from their lab!!

/// Now, the primary thing they must do

is ensure no one blames Doctor Pugh.

That first crab was a carrier

‘cross the beast-human barrier,

of what Pugh plans to call “Spanish Flu.”

Lunch in the lab was black coffee, moldy bread, and a little bit of crack cocaine.

Test tube, baby!

He’s trying to figure out how long to heat Aunt Mabel’s fruitcake before it’s not as hard as a rock.

Starbucks’ first bistro.

And while Steve’s back was turned, Professor Bunsen stole his idea for his burner.

“Whose urine sample got in among the reagents!”

I’ll start the I.V. you do the chest compressions. LIVE Dam YOU! LIVE1

Working on love potion number 8, hoping for success this time.

Edward was very particular on the preparation of his baked potato

Stern old Doctor Gladstone Turner

Turned the test tube in the burner.

So unexpected, that he lingers

A bit too long and burns his fingers

“Look at this reaction, Werner!”

.

Werner looks and to his great surprise

Can’t believe his own eyes, and cries,

“Doctor, I do perceive and must admit

The atomic structure in there has split

Cold fusion at last did we devise!”

.

Unfortunate it was that shortly after

The reaction failed, and colleagues’ laughter

Rang in physics classrooms everywhere —

But Turner and Werner did not despair

They continued the search soon thereafter!

Who pooped in my pan?

“CSI: Steampunk” had long lab procedures, even for TV standards.

First attempt at creating meatless meat. Dr. Fritzenheimer couldn’t figure out why it was not a commercial success.

Old John, wearing his best suit for the exam, knew if he could get the test tube hot in under a minute, he would finally get his high school equivalency diploma

“I’ll time this experiment to see how long it takes for my fingers to mold to hot glass.”

The bad news in the test tube warranted a hit from the illicit still hiding in plain sight at the back of the laboratory.

Professor Perkins had identified 10 of the secret ingredients but just could not figure out the last one to unlock the Colonel’s secret recipe.

Whatever substance he’d heated in that test tube caused a reaction that forever changed his name from Dr. Pugh to Dr. Pee-yew!

Hmmm. Is that a plate of ABNormal?

“Nonsense, Worthington. New Coke will be a smash hit!”

“My brother is the real brains is the family. Trouble is, he just leaves them lying around anywhere.”

Max, is that liquid refresher ready. I need a boost according to my watch!

“How’s that coffee coming along, Fritz?”

Dr. Watson making sure Sherlock’s latest snow shipment isn’t laced with fentanyl.

“Let’s see how long it takes for this to explode.”

“Crap, what happened to my banana nut muffin?”

see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDUoQhePqvg&t=108s for more of the work of Leyendecker (and his brother)

The doctor’s next invention was a pot holder.

I was told that I needed parsley, sage, rosemary and time, but no matter how long I time it, it’s never right. What’s that you say? Oh it’s THYME I needed.

JOHN STITH PEMBERTON (inventor of Coca Cola): I think I’ve got the final Coke Cola formula, Smedders! It turned this brain into something akin to a sponge but I don’t see that as a problem. It probably means that users will absorb knowledge like a sponge absorbs water – right Smedders? Smedders? Hello…?

Timing an Experiment, Howard Watch ad illustration or Scientist heating test tube (illustration for Howard Watch): 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Frank Xavier Leyendecker" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Timing, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this oil on canvas, roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3104 (March 28, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

“Timing an Experiment,” 1910

" I tell you that fungal mass in the dish has doubled in size in just a few minutes- Raymond- are you listening?!!"

whatever he invented didn’t work so now back to the start and invent something that works. like coffee.

I believe you are suggesting I “trust but verify.” What a concept!

Johnson & Johnson or Becton and Dickinson?