Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 14, 2023

I wish I spent more time with my in-laws.

“I’m happy that I never punched my boss in the face.”

As I commonly note, social media is indeed a social disease. Many are suffering from tertiary symptoms, and apparently it can sometimes kill a person, or at least drive them to suicide…

“I never felt finer”

Said the King of China

Sitting down to dine.

Then he fell down dead-

He died, he did!

It was only half-past nine.

-Spike Milligan

sad

Don’t do it, Pig! That’s a hacking cough!

My dying words are regretting that I never found the right woman.

“I wish I’d spent more time at the office.”

(Einstein could have said that, he was working on his deathbed.)

“Pastis’ puns are literature and should be taught in college English classes”.

I just posted this on Facebook.

I doubt anyone will say those words. At least, I hope not. What a sad life….

I wish I’d spent more time engaging with people from all over the world, with a raft of different viewpoints.

Wait a minute…

Some study says phones are addictive. They needed a study??!!

Facebook has given me the opportunity to keep in touch with friends who have moved away. It also helped me realize why I moved away from the rest.

Invention of the internet is bitter sweet

“Yes. cough cough I wish I hadn’t fast-forwarded through all those HR training videos. ACK….”

Some nights, instead of gazing mindlessly at the computer screen, I pull out a paperback novel and read for a couple hours. The people in books are so much more interesting, and amazingly enough they seem able to solve their own problems!

Thanks Pastis. I now have the words for my grave stone.

I’m pretty sure those won’t be my last words.

“Tell my wife I recently changed my will. She gets jacksquat

I rarely post on Twitter, FB. I use the rule that I would not post anything that I would not say to anyone in person.

Does hanging out on social media include blogging on Stephan’s toon?:

Poor Fred.

I wish I had spent more time just riding or driving to places I had never been before.

I have come to really despise finding myself in a room of 5-6 people and everyone is on their device. No talking to each other. No interaction. Just Facebook and instagram and god knows what else. When this happens, I grab the dog and take off. I grew up in the 50’s 60’s and 70’s where we hung out together and talked, danced, and did things, went places. And the phone was where it should be, at home. LOL It was a really great time and I miss the interaction of friends and family. Things change and it is truly different now. I have always loved the comics and Gocomics is just the best. It is my only guilty pleasure of social media. Always entertaining both comments and comics. Great way to start the day! Blessings to all!

The excellent Tom Tomorrow made this exact joke a few years ago. https://www.sacurrent.com/arts/this-modern-world-3-2-16-2510890

He turned into Bill the Cat as he died? Weird.

But today’s urgent question is this: Does the GoComics comment section constitute “social media”?

Would you believe “Social media for introverts, loners, losers, and hermits”?

“Here lies Frederick, mourned by his wife.

He lead a blameless life.

He couldn’t win, the way she treated him;

His gravestone should have read:

‘Here lies Fred—he’s better off dead.’

Rest in peace, ah!"

https://youtu.be/-znaFCfNWBA?t=49

“I wish I’d spent more time at the office”….slightly tweaked

“I’m glad all of my PBS comments were well-liked.”

Keep it up Rat, leave Stephan in the dust…

There are chrome extensions that hide youtube reccomendations

Modernized version of one of my old favorites: https://imgur.com/N1FJpbZ

Sadly, Rat, you’re wrong. It should be titled “Words no one should ever say but too many probably will”.

I fear the people who would say that.

Attaboy, Pig! Feed the monster….

Kind of like Cool Prius