Cornered by Mike Baldwin for May 16, 2023

Even “Superman” cannot salvage this fiasco.

Driving under the influence of estrogen

Squirrels?

She doesn’t need any artificial distractions.

My wife told me that I should express my feminine side, so I went out and wrecked the car

The radio….

I remember in those good old days. That’s when you saw people — while driving — putting on make-up, reading maps, eating meals, smoking, reading the newspaper (seriously), and participating in animated arguments, among other things. We have always had a knack for driving distractedly.

Tuning the dial on the radio (in the old days)

Well, I JUST don’t know!

A lady, somehow, landed on a huge boulder and her car was dangling on it…go figure! The cops were scratching their heads! No, it wasn’t me! LOL

Dropping a lit cigarette ?

Cigarettes

I remember an old “New Yorker” cartoon from when cellphones first became popular. It featured an empty “telephone booth” with a sign that read, “Quiet place to talk $.25”.

Sue Ellen Mischkie Of Seinfeld?

She was terrified by a phone booth as a child and goes after them every time thereafter, good thing for her they invented cell phones…

AuT-Mobile.

Where did they find a phone booth?

Alcohol. You’d be horrified by how much drunk driving there used to be. Generally speaking, police didn’t care as long as you didn’t get in an accident.

I’m a bike commuter, because car ownership too expensive for me, and I gotta tell you folks: in general, y’all scare the bejeezus outta me the way you drive! I’m not a perfect, law-abiding cyclist, but I keep my head on a swivel, my ears open, and Im still nearly killed multiple times a week. I feel safest around the big rigs, they’re way better drivers.