Pickles by Brian Crane for May 13, 2023

It’s all right Opal. I’m sure Nelson doesn’t know what a colonoscopy is.

Colonoscopies are not worth having if you are not allowed to tell colonoscopy jokes.

Definition of a proctologist: “a super duper pooper snooper”.

Had mine a couple of months ago. After my wife got me home she went out to run an errand or two. While she was gone my phone received the results from my Drs. office……full written report and……AND, the series of pics from the procedure. Maybe I was still a little loopy but as my wife walked in the door I held up my phone and asked, “Wanna see a picture of my butthole?” Tru story!

Well, he could have said that he farted for 30 seconds continuously after it was done!

I found the preporations for the colonoscopy worse than the procedure, having to literally run to the toilet every 5 minutes for 12 hours.

Opal’s harping yet again

sh!t’s about to hit the fan, once more

We got some pictures: “We” went down this down this dark tunnel with this light …

Nelson has many more years before he has to worry about that and he will probably forgotten about this.

Not sure I’d call it “way, way up there” since I’m not sure how far they go. And frankly, I think I prefer not knowing. Wait until you’re awake enough to put on underwear and go home…

Uh, and by awake enough to put on underwear it usually means putting on the rest of your clothing as well. Jeez, make a mistake one time and your wife won’t let you forget it.

I have known guys like Earl!

Colapostamy?‘’I wouldn’t want a Coke bottle shoved up there.

Afterwards the doctor told Opal “I do not care what you say, there was no lead found up there”!

I knew a close friend who, during their procedure, their doctor nicked their bowel. During the next day appointment after symptoms appeared, the doctor played off the nick, projected the symptoms onto another “possible” cause and gaslighted the remaining time. My friend had it quickly treated by another doctor before a fatal episode of sepsis had a chance to spread further. Their take away? Always listen to your body first.

Colonoscopy, the Doctor was checking your punctuation!!!?

And we trust with clean results.

I need to have the preparation everyday. Most of my life I did not poop every day, sometimes for up to 4 weeks, are you laughing? No one believed me; Natural Path specializing in bowels, my first gastro told me to drink tea and exercise more, then in the hospital I was having a twisted bowel. The 2nd gastro looked at me like I had 2 heads but went ahead with the colonoscopy. I was sedated, that was fun, I woke up and the gastro had this big grin on his face, he said the camera was too short, he could not make it to the end of the colon, I have a redundant colon, in other words long, so long that he could not finish. He was going to get a longer camera, for later, but has decided since then not to finish. With the xrays and CAT scans in the hospital he has concluded it is a mess in there, does not want to operate, and just keep drinking PEGlyte and taking the 3350 powder.

Opal has no sense of humor.

I wanted the doc to certify that he didn’t find my head up there

Did you hear about the mathematician who worked it out with a pencil?

Did you hear about the dehydrated Frenchman whose name was Pierre?

Good one! I love it when the comics get deep.

A teaching moment. Hiding life from children is how stupidity starts

It’s the prep that’ll do you in! OY

It’s better to tell butt jokes than to be the butt of a joke!

Nelson does not know…….yet.

He’s wasting his jokes on THAT kid.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle.

I think Earl is being sarcastic..

I had a joint endoscopy/colonoscopy session, coming in from both directions. Seeing the long snake thing, they reassured me that they would do the throat thing first.

I wonder if this strip was censored in Florida and the CEO of the local paper is going to prison.

The colonoscopy was and is not as bad as the ureteroscopy. The preps for the colonoscopy are by no means fun, the procedure? No big deal. The ureteroscopy you are wide awake for the whole uncomfortable procedure.

Earl need to explain what “Go Litely” does

He didn’t prepare himself correctly.

Adding Gatorade does help.

I was up all night preparing for the test and needed a nap.

My boss asked me to bring back a doctor’s note certifying that my head was not up there.

Obviously he didn’t have one because he (or the cartoonist) doesn’t know what’s involved.

Had one for my 45th birthday. Clean. Now do the yearly routine of brushing, smearing the water on a little card and send it in to the lab. Benn clean forever. Oatmeal, water, and veggies are your friends.

I think Earl like the Propofol they gave him, it’s the best part of the procedure.

Did you ever think that the invasive colonoscopy could be the cause of your (whatever is wrong with you)?…

Great line, Earl!

Get a life Opal

Nelson will find out in due time that the uncomfortable part is the prep. When you’re on the table and they pump that Fentanyl it’s unicorns and merry-go-rounds. You’ll like that part, kid, assuming you get good news afterwards.