Did you hear the one about the guy who travelled from Ohio to Indiana to visit a porpoise brothel and was arrested for crossing state lines for immoral porpoises?
My favorite bit of humor regarding porpoises wasn’t meant as humor: in Real Life™, a Saudi official gave a press release about ecological damage done by Iraq during the Gulf War. When he spoke of the harm to dolphins and porpoises in the area, apparently no one had explained to him how “porpoises” is pronounced in English. He made the “ois” rhyme with “boys”….
Whenever I get too uppity I remember that Porpoises have learned a significant number of human words, but we have yet to understand a single word of Porpoise.
For those who’ve been wondering but haven’t bothered to look it up:
“Dolphins are not types of porpoises, porpoises are not types of dolphins, and they are not different names for the same thing. They are separate sets of animals, each including multiple species.”
“Dolphins and porpoises differ in their faces, fins, and body shapes. Dolphins have longer noses, bigger mouths, more curved dorsal fins, and longer, leaner bodies than porpoises. "
For the benefit of the punsters in the above comments, the complete shaggy dog story goes something like this:
A marine researcher discovered a substance, derived from sea gulls, which would enable dolphins to live forever. One day, while carrying out his research, he was bringing a shipment of gulls to his lab, but discovered the door was blocked by a sleeping lion. He got the door open and carefully stepped over the lion, but was immediately arrested.
He was charged with transporting gulls over a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
oldpine52 over 1 year ago
No, they’ve been saying ‘goodbye and thanks for all of the fish’.
GreasyOldTam over 1 year ago
Two porpoises walk into a bar…
ꜝ over 1 year ago
OMG they’re dolphin versions of you!
Qiset over 1 year ago
So long and thanks for all the fish.
jpsomebody over 1 year ago
My uncle was arrested for transporting dolphins across state lines for immoral porpoises.
Doug K over 1 year ago
None of their jokes are accidents – every joke is on porpoise.
The Orange Mailman over 1 year ago
They must have read Alice in Wonderland.
Count Olaf Premium Member over 1 year ago
Did you hear the one about the guy who travelled from Ohio to Indiana to visit a porpoise brothel and was arrested for crossing state lines for immoral porpoises?
[Traveler] Premium Member over 1 year ago
That’s the porpoise of life
walstib Premium Member over 1 year ago
Once on vacation my sister swam with the dolphins. Someone told her to swim on her back. She did. Big mistake!
Izzy Moreno over 1 year ago
What was the porpoise of that?
Brich027 over 1 year ago
They did it on porpose!
DHBirr over 1 year ago
My favorite bit of humor regarding porpoises wasn’t meant as humor: in Real Life™, a Saudi official gave a press release about ecological damage done by Iraq during the Gulf War. When he spoke of the harm to dolphins and porpoises in the area, apparently no one had explained to him how “porpoises” is pronounced in English. He made the “ois” rhyme with “boys”….
sandpiper over 1 year ago
Well, what else would you expect? Except maybe jokes about humans underwater.
uniquename over 1 year ago
That’s the thing about learning other languages. You discover their conversations are just as boring as the ones in your first language.
David_the_CAD over 1 year ago
And that is why they are always laughing.
KEA over 1 year ago
Whenever I get too uppity I remember that Porpoises have learned a significant number of human words, but we have yet to understand a single word of Porpoise.
ꜝ over 1 year ago
https://9gag.com/gag/a81KRbp
Treehouse of Horror XI: "Night of the Dolphin"
The Simpsons: Season 12planostanton over 1 year ago
Such is their porpoise in life.
thejanith Premium Member over 1 year ago
Given what we know about their tendency to like having fun, it makes poifect sense.
Richard S Russell Premium Member over 1 year ago
For those who’ve been wondering but haven’t bothered to look it up:
“Dolphins are not types of porpoises, porpoises are not types of dolphins, and they are not different names for the same thing. They are separate sets of animals, each including multiple species.”
“Dolphins and porpoises differ in their faces, fins, and body shapes. Dolphins have longer noses, bigger mouths, more curved dorsal fins, and longer, leaner bodies than porpoises. "
oakie817 over 1 year ago
of course
InTraining over 1 year ago
apparently, F&E have a new “all-porpois” A I machine to work with – from ACME Manufacturing…!
paullp Premium Member over 1 year ago
For the benefit of the punsters in the above comments, the complete shaggy dog story goes something like this:
A marine researcher discovered a substance, derived from sea gulls, which would enable dolphins to live forever. One day, while carrying out his research, he was bringing a shipment of gulls to his lab, but discovered the door was blocked by a sleeping lion. He got the door open and carefully stepped over the lion, but was immediately arrested.
He was charged with transporting gulls over a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
Botulism Bob over 1 year ago
Maybe they’re getting another one of those strange ‘aw blah es span yol’ sounds (from the Far Side’s archives)