Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II for July 05, 2023

Service really sucks nowadays.

“… for Heaven’s sake, put the handle back down.”

I don’t have to tell you that today’s comics is a muse ing. (But you probably knew that already.)

Why do they have to ask what Ziggy wants? Aren’t they psychic?

For complaints about inaccurate predictions, press charges.

Some voicemail systems are programmed to recognize when the customer is screaming in a fit of furious anger, and will connect you through to an operator. I often try that technique

If they’re psychic wouldn’t they already know who you want to talk to?

Hi, this is Ziggy. Call me back. You should know the number…

Press 16 for a cheap bottle of booze, and a hooker.

Press 17 to contact the church of Scientology and get guidance from Tom Cruise!

Press 18 for the suicide hotline.

Press 19 for ….. Oh never mind.

Ziggy, sounds like it’s time for the Mars Hill speech!

Back in the day a womanfriend called a psychic hotline. They asked for her credit card number. My friend replied, “You’re the psychics. You tell me!” Of course the next thing she heard was the dial tone!

To reach a real psychic, wait for the beep, do not leave a message, and then hang up. Someone will get back to you with an answer to the problem you did not tell us about.

To speak to someone who actually can predict the future, press the exact value of pi.

If they are true psychics, why do they allways have to ask “What you want to know?”?

“… if you are a spirit guide press 7, if you are a spirit animal press 8, if you are …”

Dial a psychic knows when to dial you.

1 for English, 2 for Spanish,