That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 14, 2023

“Yes, there is a big age difference, but that just means you’ll inherit everything I’m going to inherit once my father dies.”

Me? I’m transitioning.

I can bench press 250. If you don’t stop breathing alcoholic fumes on me, I will break you.

/// Pouring wine from a pitcher of pewter,

Pieter, potted, performs as a suitor

with a young woman who

isn’t sure what to do;

(as a suitor he just doesn’t suit her).

“I swear ma’m I’m only 25 years old. Drinking just makes me look older.”

They’re wearing breasts high this year -/

but I hope that they’re stopping here:/

If this trend continues,/

they’ll be stretching their sinews/

with one breast draped over each ear. ///

Though the practice of hoisting the breast/

the masculine eye may arrest/

there’s a limit beyond/

which most men grow less fond:/

Sometimes closer to normal works best..///

There are ladies who’d much rather flatten/

Those knockers, and crush them neath satin/

But others may deem/

that approach too extreme-/

but they’re usually Dutch – never Latin.

High functioning. It’s an odd phrase. If the walk-in clothes closet in the Sex and the City movie (scarred me for life) weren’t so organized, it would be classified as being a hoarder. IMHO.

It’s just a touch of heartburn. Do you have a bit of linen to moisten and place on my forehead?

Phase 1 of the sting was complete. Going undercover as “Jerri,” Gerald had the suspect’s attention and he was singing like a bird.

“ Might I interest you in a rousing game of slap and tickle?”

“I? Attempting to morally corrupt you?”

“I think mine are actually bigger than yours.”

“Are you sure you don’t recognize me? I’m the third guy from the left on the Dutch Master’s Cigar box. I was even featured in GQ Magazine just last month. You’ll not find a bigger Dutch Head than me……I said Dutch!!”

I’m high functioning, but I think I am about to throw up all over you. Hope you don’t mind.

“Come with me to the casbah”

Marry me and I promise you the best Puritan life! We will have no fun, burn witches together, and attend church all day on Sunday.

“Well I am a low functioning milk maid who is quiet quitting.”

“I’m a low-functioning strumpet. Show me your money and I’ll show you how low.”

After successfully completing the Mediterranian Wine Diet course, a svelt Reginald Van Gleason III tries his hand at a little sweet seduction.

“Milady, surely you wish to corrupt me by the lurid sight of your unclothed forearms!”

Just about anything for twenty bucks.

I see a small smile on her face…and a man declaring his love in a heart felt manner…the heart wants what the heart wants..

Yes my dear, I am rich beyond means…except for the means you have to offer…..

“I sit around conversing with men until we can negotiate a price.”

“You’re wrong, my dear. I do have a heart. It’s around here somewhere…”

“I mostly get pregnant!”

A Suitor With A Young Woman: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings by Jan Steen" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string 1,524, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3169 (August 13, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 8 works by him have been used here, the July 17, 2019, strip being the prior. Most of the artist info URLs in my comment there are here links in my blog comment.

I don’t have ad blocker & it’s rather funny (ironic.) As I was viewing the portrait, an ad appeared which seemed to be the caption. It was about vacation deals leaving me speechless. I thought the “caption” to today’s masterpiece was about a salesman trying to sell the maiden vacation packages.

Yes, Eliza. I am your father.

“But that baby can’t be mine because I pulled out in time!”

flattered by his attention, Julie was sure it was due to too much wine and not her pretty self.

But enough about me talking about myself. How about you start talking about me.

Thanks. It’s what I wear until they come up with a darker color.

Deborah? Why I have a long-lost sister name Deborah.

Um, er, Oops.

When Jasmine steps out of the shower/

under which she has stood for an hour/

she emerges @$$-first/

In a way well-rehearsed:

her @$$ is her super power.

“So you see my dear, this three-pronged charger in my right hand is used to create static electricity which, when applied to my hat, causes it to float above my head without actually touching it. And if you allow me to apply it to your camisole, your bosom may ride even higher than now! Only two easy payments of 29 guilders! And, if you act now…”