The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for October 14, 2023

But he always thought his family came from Linengrad…

Holy sheet!

That should bolster his esteem

No sheet.

I heard he hangs around dryers a lot.

Can’t pull the wool over his eyes.

Did prehistoric ghostly apparitions seem to appear in animal skins or leather? (—

Wouldn’t that be AncestryDNA.com?

Thread count: 23 (and me)

No percentage of ectoplasm?

That polyester bit must be that great-great-aunt that’s never talked about. But silk! Somebody married up!

I guess he was told by his family that he was 100% Egyptian.

Ghostly white, wonder what detergent he uses?!!

That’s un-boo-lievable!

1% recycled cardboard.

Unfortunately, the family was devastated in the Great Moth Infestation of 1917.

Good luck using the mouse dude.

The makeup is “Linens n’ Things.”

He’s 17% worm poop!

“The fabric of our after life.”

I slit the sheet; the sheet I slit. Upon the slitted sheet, I sit.

60% GMO…

Cotton, rayon, or bamboo only for me. Cent pour cent naturel

I like this thread of comments.

No recycled plastic bottles?

It’s your thread count that’s really important.

I hope that is free range cotton from Giza.

Not silk, but you do have the most threads per inch.

Come on Hilburn, how many times are you going to recycle this joke. I’ve seen Frankenstein, the Wolfman, the Jolly Green Giant, Fred Flintstone, and now this ghost. Have I missed any? May I suggest a superhero next? Aquaman should be easy for you.

I wonder what that poor fellow’s washing and drying instructions?

That’s 57% Nature background and 43% Man made, quite an ancestry…

Now he can finally put this issue to bed.

i don’t really cotton with ancestry sites…