Pickles by Brian Crane for October 02, 2023

Capital Offences

No more claws for you!

Initially, I thought that the jacket was there to protect the couch.

It is an inred trait. Cats knead when they are content.

Muffin: Your welcome.

My wife used to trim the nails of our previous cats, but our current one (of 14 years) has claws that belong on a T. Rex. They’re too thick to trim, so she gave up and our furniture shows it.

My fat Coolie Cat used to jump on my wife while she was laying down and knead her stomach, I can still hear her yell!

Besides that, Earl, you put your jacket there …

That was like saying you wanted (kneaded) to have that done to it.

Your fault Earl. Cat owners learn what they can leave where. If you don’t want the kitty to shed on it, lay on it, knead it, don’t leave it there.

I feel bad, not.

The cat has a better vocabulary than a lot of fanfiction writers. Remember a story where a villain captured the heroine and “held her waste.”

Better your jacket than the arm of your chair.

But you know that somehow Opal will excuse Muffin’s actions…

My daughter calls it “making muffins.” Seems they’re leaving their contentedness!

Oh great…… even the CAT’s a comedian.!!!

Declawing a cat is the worst thing you can do to them. If you do, they have no defence against an attack.

I deliberately have old furniture since my cat will knead and sharpen his claws on it anyway. I know not to leave any clothes lying around where the cat can get to them. He will purposely shed all over the item while kneading it.

Should’ve got rid of that animal long time ago Earl they’re useless

They usually wait to do that on your leg, while sitting in your lap.

It’s right there in the Claws Clause of the Declaration of Feline Rights.

New shipment of violin strings…….

Don’t leave your jacket hanging around, Earl!

Oh,no! Earl’s gonna lay into Opal for THIS one! First,the missing glasses and now the torn up jacket….run for the hills,Opal!

Poor Earl doesn’t get any respect from anyone including the cat.

Why wasn’t it on a hanger?

Muffin would have not kneaded on that jacket if it belonged to Opal.

they can’t use clippers or files, so…

Cats have kneads.

You like jackets? A week locked in the front closet for you!

…and sometimes the need to speed knead!

Karl ……. you should have hung up your coat ……. :)

Earl, you can’t remember her name is Muffin?

And don’t complain, Earl, or you’ll get kneed! (Has someone already used this one? I didn’t check.

Here is a pile of used fur to make up for it.

One of our cats, the big, floofy Wegie, is making biscuits on my thigh right now.

He felt like tearing up a jacket, for no reason!

But if he knees you, he kneed your need to knead

That jacket made fine biscuit dough.

Give them a scratching post or pad, put them on it when they start on your couch and yell at them when they do it again. Several cycles of that and they get the idea pretty quick. We get all our cats from the rescue shelter where they have scratch pads all over the place so they’re already familiar with them. We haven’t had any real problems in the 45 years we’ve been married with cats.

Muffin was making biscuits (◔◡◔)