Pickles by Brian Crane for October 07, 2023

A gaggle of bad advice

If Earl got a smart phone, he could set reminders to remind him to care about Opal.

Let’s continue.

When does it stop being interest, and starts being stalking?

….and doesn’t have stinky feet.

And Bonus, the Depression Rectangle (aka, smartphone) will make you, well… depressed.

You can tell they’re sisters.

Interesting that Pearl knows his bedroom habits.

Smartphone doesn’t put cold feet on your back in bed, either.

I’ve met some people who ARE the crumbs in bed…

If I was Opal, I would choose the phone ;)

I don’t get it. But then wife and I rarely use our cell phones. She is house-bound and might need to be able to reach me on my weekly forays into super markets and local shops. Phones get turned on about once or twice a week for several hours, then turned off and plugged in. Beyond that and a rare text to in-laws who no longer take emails, they just gather dust.

Before someone jumps in, I am pc proficient, so I’m ok with most technology. A pc is mostly a more advanced version of the manual typewriter on which I began the 10th grade but with improved function. Cells are not a mystery. The mystery for me being why there are so few accidents. Cars swerving into other lanes, drivers ahead of me with their heads tilted down to the right instead of straight up, obviously reading their screens, parents ignoring their children and vice versa, people in waiting rooms walled off from everyone else. As someone said, Nobody looks up anymore. Who needs it.

If Earl had a cell phone he’d lose it.

Hummmm …. They are called Smart Phones but you see people doing Dumb things while using them ;-)

The eyes of the smartphone are upon you,

All the livelong day,

The eyes of the smartphone are upon you,

You cannot get away…

How does she know there’s crumbs in her bed?

Another point in favor of a smart phone: unlike your spouse, you can get a new one every couple years.

But, no snacks for Roscoe!

For older folks, like me, who always misplace the cell phone, read Macanudo comic today, I could use her!

You can turn off the stalker app if it interferes with your existence. I have enough nagging going on without my phone doing it.

Another benefit: one can set it to vibrate.

She’s misjudged Earl. He’s not jealous at all. How can you be jealous in a perpetual dream state?

But do you know? But if you use that phone to look at young boys in speedos, don’t be surprised if he uses one to look at girls who are topless.

I’d prefer my husband.

I would expect nothing LESS from THAT old crow.

I would explain why most people spend more time on their phone than on their spouse.

POOR OPAL

So, other than the battery overheating and it bursting into flames, it’s a win-win situation.

I believe she’s putting to much value on what her smartphone thinks/says and not enough on what her husband cares/thinks about.

“cares”

I turned all the “nanny” settings off on my phone.

I have my phone set to call 911 when my ticker stops.