Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for October 10, 2023

What about his nuts?

That’s the new Pistachio Diet. Buy a Balanced Bottle today!

An average of 3 out of every 100 pistachios will be empty and 1 out of every 57 will be unopenable. (These statistics are 99.99% unreliable.)

I LOVE pis-tuh-CHEE-ohs (with apologies to Les Nessman).

He shelled out good money for those.

he shouldn’t grip his nuts so tight. that can be painful

This is such an American Comic.

Hd’s nuts to think all the shells are full.

I’m sure you can find many lawyers that will take your case. They are reverting back to the old “slime period”. Sue, Sue, Sue…..that’s the ticket.

Just set the unopenable ones aside and give them whats for later.

Shell less pistachios are sold.

“.. and after that you’re on your own.”

Boyfriend giving candy to his girlfriend: “Here, honey…sweets for my sweet!” Girlfriend to boyfriend: “Thank you! And won’t you have some of these nuts??”