That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 02, 2023

Marcus Attilius choice of Livin’ on a Prayer as his entrance music did not build confidence among his fans.

/// “Sorry, Spartacus, we’re only able

in a painting to show half the fable.

We’ll paint combat by sword,

but your slave-girl reward

has to wait for the movies and cable.”

Dark Helmet enters the arena

“Look on the bright side, kid. It could have been a lion..”

Nuthin’s more nefarious than a nasty retiarius in the mor-ornin…

“Wait a minute, that other guy also has weapons!”

“Did you know that you swish when you walk? Not that I’m looking…”

There once was a retiarius/

Who went by the name of Marius/

With his trident and net/

He worked up a sweat/

But as “weaponry” those are precarious..///

Though Marius was fast on his feet/

One secutor* proved equally fleet,/

Twas his only reverse, so/

It’s “pollice verso”/

Marius left the sand on a sheet.

*secutor ( literally “follower” or “pursuer”) is the guy with armor and shield. “Pollice verso” means thumbs down- finish him off.

Okay, but I’m off on Sunday.

You’re on next, Don’t Break A Leg. You’ll be toast.

if i win can i have the rest of the sport coat! This one sleeve not is embarrassing

“Rufus, you’re not one who easily scares

I’ve seen you fight fierce boars and bears.

But these cougars against whom you will now guard

Are drunk old gals so much love-starved

Their gropes cause malfunctioned costume tears!

.

“Remember you’re paid but to tease

With full monty some ladies you might please.

But unless you want an awkward arrest,

You’ll not be indecently undressed

Exposed to eyes and to the breeze!

.

“Despite what Messalina does enjoy

You are more than a mere XXL boy toy.

Your sword and shield are but props

And battle feints to draw your blood short stops

So just grin and bare it, my dear boy.”

Are they playing the Lions?

Apparently, the promoter thought all this crap would make the checkers tournament more exciting

Don’t forget: Targeting with your helmet is forbidden, and will result in a trip to the lions den.

Maybe he has a chance with Britney Spears.

He has the look of Tom, from the old Tom and Jerry cartoons, when he’s being compelled to a girl, sometimes by the scent of her perfume.

Who remembers “What’s a happy Roman? A gladiator.” ba dom tish

I can’t go out there! We’re wearing the same outfit!

Right before walking out, Finnius asked Cassus, “does this loincloth make my butt look big?”

“Go, Machista! Kill the Athenian dog!”

Quick, check my backside for any trailing restroom detritus.

Spartacus trying out his new open toe Nikes.

Wait… Just how old IS Taylor Swift?

You only have one fight today…some guy called Hercules!

Somehow the Julius Fučík instrumental composition for band, known as “Entrance Of the Gladiators” (AKA “Thunder and Blazes”) doesn’t strike me as the right tone for a bloody gladiatorial match. To me it is circus music connected with clown antics and the spectacle of circus performers marching into the main tent.

But I suppose ancient crowds considered gladiatorial matches more like bloody football games, where injuries were expected, even cheered. Gladiators had royal sponsors, and bets were made. They likely had groupies and trysts with women, and men, among the upper classes. Movies have likely falsely shaped our modern image of such spectacles.

Played by military band:

https://m.youtube.Com/watch?v=s7SqMRxv4Zc

Wikipedia, “Entrance of the Gladiators”:

https://en.m.wikipedia.Org/wiki/Entrance_of_the_Gladiators

Well, it beats flipping burgers. Of course, you may end up as burger.

And here, unexpectedly, comes the Spanish Inquisitor,

The progenitor of the “Jeff Goldblum Macho Strut”: the Spartacus Confident Stride.

“Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, It’s off to work I go."

“Well, Thanks for coming. Write when you get work.”

Taylor’s a bit older than I thought.

“morituri te salutant”

gladiators (so named for their short swords-gladius in Latin) had THE neatest helmets

see you later gladiator

The Gladiator: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings of gladiators" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string 1868, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this large painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3196 (October 1, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. Only work by him used here so far.

thanks for the sex octavin, send in the next in line.

“The Gladiator,” ca. 1850

If you win this battle, you will have enough experience points to acquire a +2 shield, a +1 helmet, or a +1 sword.

“Wait a second. When did the lions learn how to use a sword?”

For Tuesday:

He exudes an air of command:/

The object he holds in his hand /

is called a baton/

and the beating goes on./

He takes pleasure in beating the band..///

And if you should try to compete/

You are certain to meet defeat/

For he holds the chair/

And there’s no space to spare:/

He sits in the catbird seat.///