Close to Home by John McPherson for October 19, 2023

i thought they called this being a taxpayer

is that in Cali again?

Looks like Bleeb broke through the window to try and save the guy!

X marks the spot(s)!

No thanks.

With your fifth mugging, you get a free sub. Let me punch your card.

My friend from New York said he carried two wallets. The give away wallet had 2 dollars and some crap cards in it.

Sounds fair.

During my years in New York City, I was “mugged” three times. Each time, they lost the fight.

Not having grown up in New York, I didn’t understand that I was supposed to simply surrender.

Sounds fair.

Do I get a punch card?

Tell you what, give me your name and address and I will call round to get mugged to save you the trouble of finding me!

The police have been de-funded, but with the money going to social workers and psychologists, the crooks are a lot more polite! 8)

How many muggings will it take to recoup the enrollment fee?

You know, a good extortionist is hard to find.

… oh, and have you considered saving fifteen percent on your car insurance?!

Do people call them “muggings” still?

I get mugged every time I buy gas!

I am sorry about the really rough patch you seem to be stuck in, Bleeb.

To the many trying to make this political: I believe this is supposed to be an allegory,for all the many “services” being offered,that are worse than the the ones they claim they’ll protect you from.

why certainly. i will need you to sign this paper to confirm, so… let me hold your gun while you sign

He’s already part of the “mugging plan” aka taxes

So you take 75% of whatever is in their wallets? Hmmmm

The air is dry but it still seems rather muggy.

I want a shirt just like the muggee.

It’s convenient that you keep track of all your muggings, it’ll be easier to convict.

Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

You get a membership punch card. After 10 punches, you get a free hospital visit.

Just another Demoncrat led city.

Trump’s early beginnings.

now that’s what I call the entrepreneurial spirit!

In Terry Pratchett’s books, the city of Ankh-Morpork was very pragmatic. You could, for a fee, arrange to be mugged in the privacy of your home on a regular basis rather than accosted dangerously in the street.

Just another town in Red State America, the region with the highest crime rates.