Close to Home by John McPherson for November 03, 2023

Well hey, why not?

He always was a gritty guy.

Vern finally did something about that slippery front porch!

Wow. That really made me laugh!

Finally, Vern urns his keep.

Not sure if that works though.

Apparently Vern finally stopped smoking.

Vern’s cremains find utility.

For once Vern would do something about the icy walkway.

LOL! Started my day with a good laugh!

While I was working for the Postal Service, I delivered mail to a cemetery on one of the routes I did, which sometimes included cremains that were shipped via registered mail from a distant funeral home. When handling the packages, the containers in them sounded exactly like they were filled with loose gravel. In winter, we really did make jokes about using them on icy sidewalks and driveways, even to the cemetery workers who had to sign for them on delivery. Some of them even made the same joke to us.

She walked all over him in life, so why not?

Some people use cat litter, hopefully fresh.

Vern is still helping around the house.

Well at least Vern was finally good for something!

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! That’s just wrong!

… ashes won’t melt ice! ㋡

I almost lost my mouthful of breakfast cereal! Ooh, talk about dark humor. I guess she really had it in for Vern.

Vern would be proud that he could help her, even now.

Hi, Bleeb!

He made her heart melt at some point so why not ice, lol?

Better to spread the ash than fall on your “Ash.”

Stoop on the Stoop

Good one John! Vern always did make an ash of himself.

Even death would not let him escape doing the sidewalk.

He always a Salty guy!

♪♫ Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, show me a woman that a man can trust ♫♪

Vern has to clean up the driveway even after his death.

That’s strange. Vern was her next door neighbor.

Well, to be fair, Vern always grated on people.

He finally made an ash of himself for a good reason.

Patsnozzle would’ve loved this one! But he’s safe up in Tahoma National Cemetery. That’s okay. I have LOTS of rock salt. :)

Bleeb, you stay inside. You’re not dressed for that weather. Mind you, she’s a pretty good target. :)

Practicality wins the day.

How low can you go John! D a m n! You win again! Bravo, Great One, Nice art…

Very funny, and it works, which makes it funnier!

A disembodied voice is heard to say, Ash her to stop!

He REALLY doesn’t care as would I. They are JUST ashes. Hopefully what he left behind were memories of good times, good gifts, good children, good experiences. Ashes are just ashes….

Reminds me of a line in the first episode of Red Dwarf. All but one of the crew has been reduced to small piles of ash. It was joked by the computer, who’d been alone for three million years, that all they were good for now was to grit the path.