Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 21, 2009

he’s looking awfully patient for a bear!

Baslim - a Terry Pratchet fan?

I love Wiley’s bears.

But I’m going hiking in Yellowstone in two weeks. I hope this isn’t prophetic or an ill omen.

Bear is so hungry to eat the hiker! LOLs!

Hiker, it’s what’s for dinner.

Does the bear have a box of “HIKER HELPER®©”

Next panel: Hiker becomes a sprinter.

Needs SALT!

Hiker: tastes like chicken!

Jalapeno … on a stick!

Hiker: The new white meat!

U did go there, Carolinagirl.

Glad I finished eating before reading these comments.

If a hiker screams in the woods and there’s no one around to hear him, did he really make any noise?

Who’s top of the food chain now pal? I’m Having an Old Friend for Dinner - Dr H. Lecter Talk about bait and switch … This isn’t going to end well.

Yes conean, he can hear himself scream.

That bear is a good speller.

A fate that awaits us all.

Those lare some skinny legs but the rest of him shows promise.

He’s not so lucky. If he were, he’d have a companion, so he’d only have to outrun the other guy. As it is, he has to outrun a bear…

if he’s lucky, he’s got twinkies, ho ho’s, etc….. in the back pack. so much fat, sugar, and salt in that that the bear would ignore the hiker…

God, i dont even know what to say to this one, its just bleeep funny Wiley.

lol, i like how they bleeped out damn!

Order in the court!

one of these days Wiley will have a palooza where most characters interact with each other. Danae will be hell on these Bears!

The guys in BE are still the best!

I suspect this is the mama bear from my silly rhyme:

Some get away : An ode to small bears.

A walk in the woods, Can be a great treat, Keep an eye out for honey, We all like to eat.

It’s me and my brother, But mom leads the pack. She says that’s in case, Wild dogs would attack.

We’re dressed all in black, Just like all our kin, Folks when they see us, Say: “it’s our little bear skin.”

We’ve tiny little claws, That soon grow to be tools, For digging and clawing, We bears are no fools.

We soon learn the ropes, That’s what our mom hopes. Her plan never was, To raise silly cub, dopes.

She struggles sometimes, Too keep us on task. We like to goof off, “Keep up and don’t sass”.

Just follow her lead Is all that she asks, We soon, in the sun Would like to just bask.

But that’s when it happens. A visitor, mom sees. We’ll have some fun, We just love to tease.

Of’times it’s a hiker, Or biker we see. Some, lost in the woods, As scared as can be.

We don’t mean to seem rough, We’re really just curious. Sometimes folks get mean, And sound rather furious.

Some take a bold stand, Throw rocks or kick dirt. They don’t understand, It don’t really hurt.

Most head for the hills, Some climb up a tree. We guess that’s because, It’s just better to see.

But here’s all we want. Just leave all your stuff, We seldom eat you, One treat is enough.

A good illustration, Just happened last week. We came on a fella, We snuck up for a peek.

We were right up behind him, He seemed in a daze, When suddenly he sensed us, And turned for a gaze.

You should have seen, The look on his face. He spun back around, And started to race.

Mom lumbered along, At quite a safe distance. Brother and I might need Some assistance.

To open his pack, Too look for some prize. He couldn’t care less, He had saucers for eyes.

He was forming a plan. By now he was tiring, Oh what he could do, To avoid just expiring?

Out there, far from home, With no others around. It made sense to him, To get up off the ground.

The very next tree Would be his escape. He shinnied right up, Just his knee, took a scrape.

Well there, he had made it, Safe at long last, But he didn’t realize, Mom had a question to ask.

She’d reach up the tree, To gain his attention. He started to scream, “Just what’s your intention?”

“What is it you want? “I’ve left all my stuff? “I’ve nothing here now?” “Isn’t that quite enough?”

Mom asked just as calm, As bears can speak up. “My kids wanted cookies, Or cream in a cup.”

“They like sugar cubes, Ripe apples, or fish. Or a big old bee hive Full of honey’s their wish”.

Well, he wouldn’t speak up. So we spread out his stuff, From his back pack and duffle, Prob’ly seemed kind of ruff.

But that’s what we do, On a day in the woods. When a camper won’t openly Share all his goods.

So here’s some advice, You can take it or not. If you’re out in the woods, With bears, at your spot.

Just say what you’ve got You needn’t add strife. You may even go home, With more than your life.

Well, mom says I’ve gone on, Too long, but that’s normal. One thing I would add, My shiny black coat…….. is really quite formal.

Oldbuck wrote this after receiving a picture of an antler carving of a bear family, from his sister in AZ. May 30, 08

In Aspen a few weeks ago, a bear actually wandered into a fur store. I don’t know if he was looking for someone in particular…

Man sees cow, Man eats cow, Man sees chicken, Man eats chicken, Man sees bear, Bear sees man, Bear eats man, ……..

THE END

This is why you should never go hiking without a goat.

Its only funny If youve never been in that postion - I swallowed my pepper spray

Uhm, Who is Terry Pratchet?

Bear: “Finally, a perfect match for my bib!”