Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 13, 2023

My most essential item would be another person to go hiking and camping in my place.

Good thing toilet paper isn’t too heavy.

I gather that Pig is lactose-indifferent.

Cheese wheels are essential in any true camper scenario!

Well, the ice cream would be warm, and the lattes would be cold.

When hiking in the mountains, camp next to a general store and you won’t have to bring anything except something to pay with.

A guy once asked me to go camping with him. I couldn’t stop laughing. Then I realized he was serious.

Me just needs the bear necessities.

Oh I thought you meant Glamping !

I put coffee beans in my granola.

OK, a camping joke our pastor told:

If you take a Mennonite camping with you, he’ll drink all your beer. If you take 2 Mennonites, neither one will drink any.

I think it might be you Pig with the odd priorities!

Used to love camping, but nowadays it’s mostly day hikes for us. And my wife will not hike in the winter.

Now I’m wondering what Jef the Cyclist would take along if he went bikepacking.

Was it Calvin’s mom who explained that Dad’s camping trips were meant to be agonizing so that life at home the rest of the year was meant to feel like paradise?

I love the outdoors, but when it comes time to sleep, I want a bed in a climate-controlled room where I don’t have to fear being eaten by bugs, bears, or crazed raccoons.

Bad Gnus… Starbucks has discontinued Pumpkin Spice Lattes for the season. :.( Good Gnus… They replaced them with Creme Brûlée Lattes! Excellent!! Rots your teeth simply simmering there in the little sleeved cardboard cup, boy howdy.

I guess they’re going to keep that old TV.

Cheese rolling: https://www.youtube.Com/watch?v=cvuktushEhY

I don’t think you’re supposed to take those things on a hike.

My friends “camp”. They need full hook ups so they can use their shower and power their big screen satellite television.

Friends and I used to hiking all the time, then I left the Army

Only PIG thinks of cheese wheels…LOL

Some people don’t know camping. Or life, I guess.

Food is THE essential.

At least the cheese doesn’t melt.

Yes, yes they do.

I”d love to see what Pig’s backpack would look like after hiking for several hours with ice cream and lattes in his pack.

Cheese wheels are probably one of the better options for weight-to-calorie ratio, actually.

Better leave that cast iron skillet at home

Camping in December in the mountains. Be sure to dress warmly. Shiver

Hiking is all well and good, but the expense of hiring a driver to bring your motorhome to the campsite is prohibitive.

’Can’t tell you how often I was told to take a hike during my career. So, when they tried to transfer me from god’s country to San Antonio for national responsibilities in 2K, I did.

If it doesn’t have cheese wheels, I don’t want to go there.

Rat would be allowing for the weight of a case of beer.

Or a keg of beer.

Ice cream tends to melt halfway up Mount Crumpet

MR.PASTIS

You Tube watch an old Betty Boop cartoon JUDGE FOR A DAY—1935

You’ll get a week’s worth of strips out of it

“Hikers have odd priorities.”

Not really, because the bare necessities means leaving behind all you annoying humans! Heh!

I know some hikers. Yes, they do.

Its the wine that weighs the most!

Pig is utterly clueless. No hiking and camping for Pig until he gets smarter….

I prefer the three shells method, myself.