Heathcliff by Peter Gallagher for December 24, 2023

The “grog” prince.

A friend “yule” need

Igor the red-eyed fruit fly

Had some very shiny eyes

And if you ever saw it

You would cry “Oh my! Oh my!”

All of the other sleigh flies

Used to laugh and say “Buzz off!”

They never let poor Igor

Get married with a “Mazel tov”

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

Jimmy came to say

“Igor, with your eyes so bright

Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?"

Then how the rest flies loved him

But soon they shouted out with loudly

’Cause Igor the red-eyed fruit fly

Got down in an ‘ugly swatter’ ceremony

Bring in the bugs, or take them some little cups.

I’d say this is Gallagher’s gag gift to the readers, but there’d have to be an actual gag.

Look like Jimmy has kidnapped Santa and his reindeers and then stolen his ride too. No sign of presents too. Must be hoarding em or sold em off already. No wonders nobody is like Jimmy.

Jimmy has a good racket going on. Promises flies he will not eat them if they taxi him around wherever he wants to go.

Suppose Calvin got her tail caught in the vacuum, would she still enjoy it?

what about the slug and the musk ox ?

Hmmm, how come Jimmy doesn’t have his Santa hat on, like when he was a mall Santa? Oh well, it’s Heathcliff, so Merry Garbage Day to all Heathcliff fans!

Home run!!

Merry Christmas Heathcliff!

Jimmy needs to play Frogger in real life.

Jimmy the frog is Father Christmas that is going to far

Jimmy’s Santa? Christmas is ruined.