Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 25, 2024

But what about burgers?

What if you’re on a low carb diet?

What about chocolate?

Heaven on Earth!

Not a bad way to go out, admittedly.

Be sure to put lots of Cheese on the Pasta!

A fake noodle is an impasta.

(Steph, you can rest easy for a couple of days while Rat comes after me with the baseball bat.)

The purpose of life is for everyone to ask everybody else questions.

I just hope I don’t go while eating – dying with my face in the pasta. That wouldn’t make for a good portrait at my wake.

WAOTH missed it this time. He forgot about the beer to wash down the pasta.

Uh, I think, uh, RERUN, REPEAT, or, as my mommy would claim: COPY-COPY!!!! Dan aka…

And cheese! Don’t forget the cheese!

I’d rather die before eating all that pasta.

Doesn’t sound that funny either

Life is but a brief flash of sunlight as you drop from birth into the grave. Enjoy it while it lasts!

In Pig’s case, cheese.

“Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think, Enjoy yourself while you’re still in the pink, the years go by as quickly as a wink, Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yours it’s later than you think”!

Forget the pasta, look to the fyoocha!

Stuff your face with pasta? What? Why?

No…not BAD at all!!

Let’s roll with that.

My close friend, rest his soul, said almost those very words after he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and I asked him how he felt about his rather dire prognosis (his was quite advanced with other complications). He said, “well, you get born, you live as long as you can, then you die.”

I just had some pasta yesterday.

Pastafarian.

Pasta is fine — for dinner. But at breakfast you need BACON.

Hey, I stuffed my face with pasta last night!

Spaghetti all’Assassina!

Garfield? Is that you?

Hmm, not much of a plot, but I like that middle part.

Ecclesiastes 12:13

Die fat and happy

Without God, life has no ultimate meaning, value, or purpose.

Not just pasta.

Don’t forget to put lots of cheese on that pasta.

Nothing very philosophical about that.

yes! gluten-free pasta!!!

A plumber once commented on his job security; “We are born and then we die. In between, we go to the bathroom.”

Big Jim Colosimo at Colosimo’s Restaurant,* Chicago, 1920.

Giuseppe “Joe the Boss” Masseria at Nuovoa Villa Tammaro Restaurant, Coney Island, 1933.

Willie Moretti at Joe’s Elbow Room Restaurant, Cliffside Park (NJ), 1951.

Crazy Joe Gallo at Umberto’s Clam House, Little Italy, 1972.

Carmillo “Carmine” Galante at Joe and Mary’s Italian Restaurant, Bushwick, 1979.

“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”

Dutch Schultz and Paul Castellano were also whacked in restaurants, but they were steakhouses.

*Getting hit in your own restaurant seems doubly mean.

You’re born wet, cold, naked and afraid. Then it goes downhill from there.

I can accept that answer.

What…no cheese?

Will be having spaghetti with clam sauce for the third day in a row now. My wife decided she didn’t want any. Oh well…

Except he didn’t mention stuffing my face with cheese….that worries PIG! ☺️☺️

Italian is out, Mexican is what it’s at.

42.

Darn, I’m fresh out.

It’s better if the pasta is accompanied by a nice Chianti.

OMG,! OMG! This is so very funny — LOLOL

You throw it against the wall to what sticks.

Stephan actually borrowed this from “Bloom County”, but the quote was “You’re born. You go on some diets. You die”. This way is more fun I guess.

Advice tailored to the audience, apparently.

But… what about dessert?!?

Good taste, Pig and WAOTH. I just had spaghetti for dinner on Thursday.

What, no red wine?!?!?

Stay away from the Fra Diavolo sauce

Then you are just wishing that you die throughout a longer life.

Pasta is rubbish. Anything that has to be a different shape to distinguish it, one from another, cannot be right..

And this is why one of the major religions of the world is centered in Rome, Italy.