Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for January 31, 2024

RIP (no periods needed)

That would do it.

And then there’s the riddle. How do you give a cat a bath? Put it in toilet, shut lid, flush.

That’s a big grave for what would be left of him.

“I gave my cat a bath the other day…they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that…”― Steve Martin

He was off the mark on that one!

Start with them when they are kittens and after that only bathe when necessary. If the cat is an indoor only then you’ll not be needing to bathe it because they are pretty good self groomers

My last words will be “here, kitty, kitty, kitty…”

♫♪♬ Scritch, scritch, scratch. I was giving a bath…♫♪♬

gee, I’m sure that went well… :l

The next words were " Here hold my Beer " Followed by " Arrrrrrggaaaa "

He must have been feeling suicidal because no one in their right mind tries to bathe a cat. The only time I can think of that a bath by a human would be required is if kitty tangled with a skunk. That kind of bath requires tomato juice and two tranquilizers. One for you and one for kitty. Once kitty is unconscious, then you can bathe him/her.

Love it! Thanks for the laugh.

It’s not a one-man job.

The funeral was closed casket.

Scratched that off this bucket list.

There are less painful ways to commit suicide…

I bathed four cats (one of them twice) when ringworm swept through the household from our newest adoptee. I wore rose gardening gauntlets, an old ski suit, and a thick hat with a face mask. My daughter brought me each cat one at a time and helped with operating the shower and keeping the shower door closed so the cats couldn’t escape. I still ended up with a fair few scratches as they insisted on climbing me like a tree to try and escape.

“I mean who knew he would slip and git the tub..”

…and the cat said “hold my beer”…….