Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for February 15, 2024

Way down yonder in New Orleans…..

“There’s a tear in my beer from cryin’ for you dear…. you are on my lonely mind…..”

Absence makes the heart go wander.

I guess she’s not your girlfriend anymore.

People are so fickle in this modern age.

One of my ancestors, a British navy officer, shipped out leaving his pregnant wife and 2 kids in England and sailed around Cape Horn to Vancouver Island. Once established in Esquimalt, he sent for his wife to join him and she made the same trip, now with three little ones in tow. They then settled down in New Westminster and raised more family.

Consider that each sailing would have taken at least 4 months, add the time it took for his message to get back home to his wife, and understand that being unfaithful would never have crossed their minds.

I can relate. I was out on a six-week military exercise. When I got back, the wife announced that she wanted a separation. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships. I’m left wondering…

Is it my wife or my girlfriend that’s cheating?

I told my girlfriend I think she’s cheating on me.

She told me I sound just like her husband.

Girlfriend: Are you cheating on me?

Me: I don’t get why you all ask the same question.

My girlfriend’s accused me of cheating with a girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

How can she say that?!?!

I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me when she texted me saying “I’m out for dinner with my friend Emma” because Emma was lying beside me in bed.

Give Jenny a call.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but too much absence makes it wander.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” or “Out of sight, out of mind”. You can’t win.

Absinthe makes the brain go wander.

Jody strikes again.

Well, there’s a rose in a fisted glove

And the eagle flies with the dove

And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey

Love the one you’re with

Love the one you’re with

Love the one you’re with

Love the one you’re with

—Stephen Stills

don’t you mean ex-girlfriend?

Dude, you really think she wasn’t cheating on you all along? You poor summer child…

Absence makes the part grow longer.

I’ve forgotten the lead up to “absinthe makes the fart go ‘Honda.’”

It happens. My second wife had a long record before we met. She believed in serial monogamy but a week would sometimes be enough. :)

Y’all are the very best at puns and quips; i love ’em, thanks