Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart for March 23, 2024

Getting a jump on the news

he is thinking, go away, jerks…

No, I’m jumping at 3:01.

Have someone give you the office wifi password and you can stream live.

All disasters have to be concluded before the 6 o’clock news, for maximum viewership!!!

Don’t just ask, send him a push notification.

I’m reminded of Don Henley’s song ‘Dirty Laundry’.

Here. Let me give you a hand,

Haven’t decided yet you scalawags!

Oh Look, Stephen Colbert making a complete @## of himself once again.

This is a leap year after all.

Don’t let them influence you. The print media will pick up the pieces whenever you are ready.

He’s waiting for a word from your sponsor.

WHAT? I can’t hear you. Come out on the ledge with me and I’ll talk. Oh and it’s really windy, I need to wrap my arms around you. For your safety of course. Ignore MY bungee cord though. [camera man; “we lose more reporters that way”]

C’mon c’mon, buddy… let’s make up your mind, here!

Sorry, guys. No news to be made here today.

Byeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Grab the mic, and take him with you!