Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 23, 2024

Pig, do you really want to be the 2017 Cleveland Browns?

This reminds me of that Monty Python sketch about how society needs village idiots.

I’ve ALREADY “beaten” PIG to that goal; or to paraphrase south park’s comment about the simpsons: “I DID IT!!!!” Thanks, butters!!!! Dan aka…

The smallest integer that is not special is special because it’s not special.

Pretty sure Pig succeeded in eating more cheese han he could handle…

Pig the pioneer! Kinda has a ring to it!

I wanted to be famous at the world’s most obscure person.

Managing to stay alive for another day could be considered successful.

Yay, Pig!

Pig is turning the WiseAss’s advice into “biggest loser wins”!

If you’re a total failure, wouldn’t that mean being successful at being a total failure? But if you’re successful at it, then you’re not a total failure. So you could be a success at not being a total failure …

Pig is quite the optimist.

And someday you’ll be bacon.

A triple back flip on a motorcycle…until the one time it’s not successful.

It’s not hard to become successful.

This wise a$$ is full of it. Of course people have failed at stuff.

Pig is competing with congress.

Some people are destined to be the best example of bad behavior. (I refuse to name a name, but we all know who . . . :p)

I beat Pig to that record

Wise butt’s definition of success is way off the mark.

Beat you to it, Pig.

I’m sorry, I can’t see the Wise Donkey sitting up there without being reminded of the late night skit about “Colon Blow” cereal…

I guy I knew said you aren’t old until you’re too old to be the youngest person ever to do something.

Zero does nothing but reserve space. I like to keep mine on the left of the decimal point.

So… Pig didn’t fail this time? :D

The Buffalo Bills lost 4 straight Superbowls; such pioneers they were!

If you aim to fail and you do, did you really succeed?

Pig is defying gravity…does that make him the first to achieve it?

I’m thinking being able to stand like that on a mountainside is quite an achievement!

You tried asking the wise guy a question, and you succeeded.

My goal is to compute the final infinite Prime number, just to test St. Peter’s patience.

But if you succeed at failing at everything, then you are automatically disqualified.

Sorry Pig, I done that half-a-dozen times over.

I never thought Pig would ponder about what a successful life might be.

Be the one in a Million. If you’re Chinese you still are one of thousands.