Free Range by Bill Whitehead for February 24, 2024

Making sure he properly “logs” in.

Talk to the hand.

And now let’s end this “Child’s Play” by drinking our cocoa “Chucky”-a-lug…

That should be an interesting evening!!!

Strangely, he has never had a second date with anyone.

SLAM!

Watch out for termites

The man is dexterous, enjoy.

Ever see the movie “Magic” with Anthony Hopkins. Having “Fats” chaperone did not go well.

She went on a date with the dummy.

The Dummy is probably the better date !

Which, coincidentally, always end up being last dates.

“I have so MANY first dates!”

Her name is Marion and he just trapped her in a Marion net.

“Yes and look he already has a woody, as do I.”

He’s a keeper.

This can only lead to a splintered relationship.

She says: “I’ll be right back with my ‘chaperone’.”

[Will it be her dummy or her dad (perhaps with a shotgun)?]

And just like that she canceled the date because she needed to wash her hair.

Alan Harper?

Carefully close the door and be grateful you learned this on the first almost date.

Reminds me of Chuck from Soap.

And probably the last date, too

She’d like to voice her opinion.

I saw some dating reality show where the woman wore clothes straight out of a 60s commune, carried a huge doll, and spent the evening talking about her powers as a witch.

Ummmm how about I just meet you at the restaurant…I’ll be along shortly……N. O. T. !

the up side is his hands will be busy elsewhere all night.

Red Flag!!!

eewwww! No.

If she gave her address to a “first date”, she’s a bigger dummy than he is.

wow that’s an easy red flag to spot and great opportunity to just close the door and text him “bye”

It’s a safe date. Only one of his roaming hands can be busy. Or is it now 3 hands. Look out, girl. Score the free dinner and run.

“Does he also insist on going on second dates?”

“You know, that’s never come up.”

She just picks up one of her many cats to bring along too…

Nope.

He doesn’t have a sliver of hope.

I’m guessing there are not that many second dates