The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for February 24, 2024

Old Alka-Seltzer® may be helpful for your heartburn and burping.

Just drink a maalox shake with your meal.

Would you prefer Mother Gargoyle’s cooking, Brutus??!!!

:-O

In your favorite red sweater

I’m sure Rancid pays Brutus enough that he can go get a bottle of Tums for those occasions.

Omeprazole is your friend, Brutus.

Who is he talking to? Kewpie? Dagwood Bumstead? Us?

Is he relegated to eating by himself?

Are you sure it’s not that greasy spoon you go to for lunch?

Maybe a sip of Burp…uum…Bourbon will help you get over it…

Heartburn, heartburn please be gone

GLADYS the man who doesn’t have one…

Well, you know who her teacher was.

English is such a crazy language, considering that the burn is in your stomach not your heart.

You can buy Seltzer Water at a Grocery Store in 12oz cans like soda. Taste great. I drop two Alka Seltzers in and really it helps the old tummy. Burp!

well, at least your home so you could pile on the antacids. :J

Brutus, would you care for a Maalox® digestif or two?

The old battle axe gives Brutus indigestion without eating anything.

I wonder what he’s eating…!

Oy! Take two Tums, and call me in the morning…..

Unkind, Brutus. If you really don’t like your wife’s cooking, take her out to dinner more often.

And there’s no place like home. What’s for dessert Gladys?…….

And on Monday, red beans and rice means home is where the farts is.

Ha! Almost almost almost a coffee spit take there Chip! You’re on a roll with puns this week!

Consider it a fire on the hearth.

I think if were in his situation, I’d stock up on TV dinners. And I’m gonna celebrate later that I’m not.

You could always learn to like TV dinners…