Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for April 19, 2024

Sorry, but “pooh” is definitely not the same as “poo”. Look ’em up.

Don’t do it Piglet! You can’t handle the trauma!

I pooh-pooh this suggestion.

That might not be a good idea. I seem to remember a story about a bear and a rabbit having a discussion about things clinging to their fur while sitting in the woods. (I escaped the comic censor.)

As if you creatures is does it somewhere else.

It’d probably be a lot safer to just stand downwind of the bear.

Now be fair. That’s not all he does in the woods. And do you really want to let him in your bathroom anyway.

He’s a bear, it’s the woods.

Eeyore! I love him!

Once, when some of the others saw what Eeyore was dooing out in the woods, Eeyore said, “Thanks for noticing.”

nailed the characters!

They wanted to use shampoo on my hair, but I told them I wanted the real stuff.

He went to the teddy bears’ picnic.

Cheap shot 3rd grade potty humor. Sorry, Mark. You missed the mark this time…

A 4 year-old asked her mom, " Where does poo come from?" Mom thought for a moment and decided that maybe her daughter wasn’t too young to learn about her body so she went into a detailed explanation about how important it was to chew carefully to help digestion and how it finally ended with going to the bathroom and expelling a good healthy poop. The daughter, visibly shaken by this explanation, then asked with a shaky voice." What about Tigger?"

I get it, but the gag is a bit strained. Parisi usually does better.

The bear is practicing horse imitations and “Winnie-ing”.

He’ll come out Winnie’s all done.

Except that Winnie is no where to be seen

Eeyore, why do you care?

and don’t squeeze the charmin

It’s who he is. It’s what he does.

Don’t forget your bag and carry a spare, just in case.

This is off the mark… oh, wait uh…

And when he’s really bad he’s known as Winnie The Little Sh17