Herman by Jim Unger for May 02, 2024

A card with a medicinal strip that you can Scratch-and-Sniff?

How about this one that says “Lose weight, Lardo!”

The “get thin soon” cards are 2 bins over.

Well, we have “get bent” and “get lost” cards.

Hurry and croak already!

Some cards give a lift. Others, trying to be cute or funny, just don’t.

“Get better soon”

Not sick, just not doing a very good job.

Get well, ummm, like the old you

“Well, there the ‘Stay Sick’ card we have over to your left…”

I’ve got one with a battery-powered chihuahua that sings a Mexican party song. If that one doesn’t bring a smile to your face then nothing will. It’s 3 years old and still works.

Okay, has he just been drawing things and letting us come up with what’s funny about them?

She’s unaware that she’s unwell:/

And nobody else dares to tell./

But it isn’t so hard/

If it’s done with a card:/

Or you text her the news on her cell…///

“It turns out, we don’t need ya”

A good card for her would be “Get Over It Already!!”

She is being thoughtful.

Here’s one for you “You’re sick”.

“Um … ‘GET WELLER!’ "