Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 28, 2024

I think he saw it.

Rat plans ahead.

Why would Rat even be going to Pig’s cousin’s wedding

October 6 is a Sunday this year. I doubt you could get a dental appointment or a service call for a Sunday.

Such filthy language…Hint… 42

Didn’t think Rat was the block party kind. Seemed more like the “miserable drink myself till I pass out” kind.

Rat could say “I’m not going to Pig’s cousin’s wedding in Belgium.” without making excuses. Rat is normally able to be rude.

Okay; this is getting insane; why is EVERYBODY bashing “destination” weddings, I mean, I get why Homer Simpson hates them, but that was almost a stretch to believe he would do that; RAT would NEVER turn down a free trip and lunch, would you?! Dan aka…

Teenage girls at a table in the school lunchroom were talking about the upcoming senior prom.

One girl said she’s getting a limousine service and a special gown for the occasion, and it’ll cost over $600.

A teacher, overhearing this, said she spent less than that on her wedding . . .

The girl then said, “You can get married multiple times, but your senior prom comes around only once!”

sigh

Rat forgot to schedule his colonoscopy for October 6.

He could RSVP, cannot come, doctor putting in light where the sun does not shine.

For the dentist appointment, you’ll get 50 reminders between now and then.

This coming Saturday I have about 4 things I could do. Friend is having a party, annual baseball game with classmates, golf outing I’ve been doing annually for years, or brother’s wedding. Going to baseball game, friend scored us a suite. It’s my Brother’s third wedding. I told him I’ll make it to the next one.

You don’t have to go the wedding, you know.

He won"t…

Sounds to me like Rat planned it that way.

Overbooked, and those so? Underpaid….

Some time ago as I was leaving the dentist office after a yearly cleaning session we were setting up an appointment for the following year and as she was setting the date I said “Wait. I’ve got a funeral to attend that day.” She paused for several seconds, looked at me and then the laughing started.

To some people October 6 is similar to September 10

Amazing to me that people think their nuptials are so important that others should want to spend money traveling to a far off location, pay for lodging AND the Bride and groom still expect a gift

Unless you are willing and able to pay everyone’s travel expenses, you have no business planning a “destination” wedding and expecting anyone to show up.

Rat just made a trio of excuses.

I don’t get the joke, if there is one.

All those appointments, and not one time.

Every wedding should come with a cash back guarantee for guests in the event of divorce.

Rat was wise.

Rat is going through all this scheming just to avoid going to Belgium? Out of character.

Ladies, now he’s a multitasker.

Belgium would not be my first choice for a destination wedding. Unless you like beer.

On Weddings: anything other than a short drive and I’m not there.

Just say NO. You don’t even have to have a reason. I learned that back in the early 1970s from a friend.

Time for Calvin’s duplicator

Sorry Pig, that’s my birthday and I already have plans. I guess I’ll just have to miss the wedding also.

Belgium?

I got a save the date for a cousin’s wedding. (It’s early in January and I got it in mid-June. And it’s not in Belgium; seems like this particular save the date is cutting it awfully close considering how complex it will be to arrange international travel.) An aunt (not the cousin’s mother) had already asked my mom if I intended to go. My mom told me she didn’t expect me to but wanted to confirm, for her own curiosity. Confirm with Mom I did.

Then the save the date arrived in the mail, I opened it and spent several minutes trying without success to remember the last time I even so much as said hello to the cousin in question. Then I threw it out, not even bothering to send the RSVP card back.

A problem with the A/C in July needs to be fixed before October, I think.

Pig went to Rat’s barmitzva

Rat won’t wanna go all the way to Belgium.

First off, Bacon, Pulled pork, Pork pot pies, Pork ribs, did I say Bacon, yea, Bacon,Bacon,Bacon! Nuff said.

Belgium??

The big question nobody asked, why would they invite Rat??

Belgium!

Destination Weddings are designed to purposely CUT the guest list

I think Rat already knew.

Hope cousin is paying for the trip