Lola by Todd Clark for August 11, 2024

At least they’re not the dreaded zucchinis.

Amy needs to grow indeterminate tomatoes. Indeterminate tomato varieties are vining plants that continue to grow longer and set fruit throughout the growing season. Determinate tomatoes reach their mature height, set all their fruit at once, and stop growing.

Two women talking at their garden fence:

1: How do you get your tomatoes so red?

2: I stand in front of them and open my blouse.

1: I think I will try that.

One week later:

2: Any luck with your tomatoes?

1: I tried what you told me, but nothing happened, so I lifted my skirt as well.

2: How’d that go?

1: Nothing happened with my tomatoes, but you should see the size of my cucumbers.

My mom always just canned the tomatoes. It’s much quicker & less work, & we had canned tomatoes year-round.

Let the blanching begin.

I’ll ketchup to you in a little bit.

Sounds like a good title for a horror novel. Lola, you ought to pitch the idea to Stephen King.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!