I’m talking to my manager about an issue and he’s explaining to me how to fix it. A customer storms up to us, angry and indignant, and speaks to us in a demanding tone:
Customer: “Your rotisserie chicken is £12 but it’s £8 at [other shop]!”
Manager: Without hesitation. “Why are you here, then?”
It was as if time stopped. The customer was clearly expecting their comment to result in every employee within hearing distance immediately kowtowing to him and apologizing from the bottom of their hearts at their obscene treatment. This guy was obviously not able to just ‘deal’ with the level of indifference my manager was giving him.
After a few moments of uncomprehending what just happened, my manager adds:
Manager: “They close at ten; better hurry.”
The customer walks away like a zombie, slow and unsure of himself and what just happened. My manager turns to me:
Manager: “I’ve worked here long enough to know that conversation was going to go nowhere; better for everyone to just cut it off at the head with logic. Now, where were we?”
It’s my first week working at this restaurant and I have already had a table that’s making me second-guess this job. They have been rude, loud, combative, and their son, maybe twelve or so, has already made several passive-aggressive comments about my appearance and estimations of my intelligence. Of course, the parents did nothing to discourage this.
My manager overhears the son saying something especially repugnant towards me and checks up on me when we’re in the area between the kitchen and the restaurant floor.
Manager: “You okay? Need me to take over?”
Me: “No, I’m fine. I knew it might be like this, but I wasn’t expecting it during my first week.”
Manager: “You’re doing great but let me know if it all gets a bit much.”
I survive this table until we get to them ordering their desserts. The son orders an ice cream sundae.
Manager: “Is that tray for the problem table?”
Me: “Yes.”
Manager: “And the sundae is for the little s***?”
Me: “Yes.”
Manager: “Watch and learn.”
He replaces the sundae spoon with a soup spoon. It’s served in a traditional glass sundae cup. This cup has a small divot in the center bottom. My manager sees me getting the tray of desserts ready. The kid wasn’t able to get the last bite and become super frustrated. It was obvious this boy was never raised to control his emotions, so we witnessed this twelve-year-old boy throw a tantrum worthy of a toddler over his inability to get the last bite of melted ice cream.
Manager: “It’s the little wins that keep you sane.”
I am flying on a budget airline from England to Portugal. The airline is very cheap, so I am not expecting much service beyond simply getting me there safely. The plane’s crew are doing the drink service and the women in the row ahead of me are ordering.
Passenger: “She’ll have an Aperol Spritz, I’ll take an espresso martini, and my friend is using the toilet, but she’ll have a regular martini but extra dirty.”
Air Steward: “Darling, this is [Budget Airline]. We have red, white, sparkling, and spirits.”
Passenger: “Oh… do you have a glass of malbec?”
Air Steward: “We have merlot, and they come in little bottles with a screw cap.”
The ladies “made do” with the cheap merlot and seemed equally disappointed that this two-and-a-half-hour flight didn’t serve afternoon tea.
The Most Audacious Data-Dealing Dingus To Ever Derp
I work for an airline. This happened on the day when I returned to work from maternity leave. Apparently, while I was gone, some dingus decided that my secretary was now his personal assistant. He even told her I had authorized it, and if she said anything to me, she’d be fired. Being young and a bit naive, she believed him.
I found out when I called and asked her where she was after lunch.
Secretary: “Mr. [Dingus] ordered me to fetch his dry cleaning.”
I got mad at the audacity of this guy, and I told her to not pick up anything and to get back to the office immediately.
Of course, I inquired who he was, and I was informed that he was a Data Input supervisor. In the center of our office, we have a room with a large screen covering the wall, with a map of North America showing our airline’s flights flying into, out of, or over the US and Canada, lovingly referred to as the “War Room”. Data Input is responsible for keeping it up to date, along with making the reports us executives have to read to do our jobs.
I went to the office [Dingus] shared with another and spoke to him in my best valley-girl accent.
Me: “Hi, sorry to interrupt. Can I ask why [Secretary] is doing errands for you? I thought she worked for someone else?”
Dingus: “Her boss is some foreign b**** who got knocked up and is probably not coming back. Meanwhile, we Americans have to share offices and do grunt work. But why do you ask?”
Me: Changing to my real accent “Because I’m [My Name as it’s written on my office door], the b**** who got knocked up and is now going to have a talk with your boss.”
His face drained of colour. He did not like the yelling his manager gave him, and he certainly didn’t like hearing that he had to pass sensitivity training or be fired.
Yakety Sax 22 days ago
Not The Sauce Of A Happy Marriage
Customer: “My wife sent me to pick up some smoked salmon that has sauce with it.”
Me: “Um… I don’t think any of the ones I carry come with a sauce.”
Customer: “Hold on.
He calls his wife, talks, and hangs up the phone.
Customer: “She said it’s here.
Me: “I don’t see any that say anything about a sauce.”
Customer: “Here, you talk to her.”
He pulls out his cell phone, dials, and puts the phone to my ear without talking to his wife.
Me: “Um… hello?”
Customer’s Wife: “Who the h*** is this?!”
Me: “I’m [My Name] from [Grocery Store]. Your husband said you were looking for a specific type of smoked salmon?”
Customer’s Wife: “Why the h*** am I talking to you?!”
Me: “I guess your husband wanted me to get some more details? Like a brand name or something?”
Customer’s Wife: “I’m hanging up now!”
She hangs up. I hand the phone back. He just sighs and walks away.
Yakety Sax 22 days ago
Answer Directly To Direct Them Away
I’m talking to my manager about an issue and he’s explaining to me how to fix it. A customer storms up to us, angry and indignant, and speaks to us in a demanding tone:
Customer: “Your rotisserie chicken is £12 but it’s £8 at [other shop]!”
Manager: Without hesitation. “Why are you here, then?”
It was as if time stopped. The customer was clearly expecting their comment to result in every employee within hearing distance immediately kowtowing to him and apologizing from the bottom of their hearts at their obscene treatment. This guy was obviously not able to just ‘deal’ with the level of indifference my manager was giving him.
After a few moments of uncomprehending what just happened, my manager adds:
Manager: “They close at ten; better hurry.”
The customer walks away like a zombie, slow and unsure of himself and what just happened. My manager turns to me:
Manager: “I’ve worked here long enough to know that conversation was going to go nowhere; better for everyone to just cut it off at the head with logic. Now, where were we?”
Yakety Sax 22 days ago
How To Make Them Scream For Ice Cream
It’s my first week working at this restaurant and I have already had a table that’s making me second-guess this job. They have been rude, loud, combative, and their son, maybe twelve or so, has already made several passive-aggressive comments about my appearance and estimations of my intelligence. Of course, the parents did nothing to discourage this.
My manager overhears the son saying something especially repugnant towards me and checks up on me when we’re in the area between the kitchen and the restaurant floor.
Manager: “You okay? Need me to take over?”
Me: “No, I’m fine. I knew it might be like this, but I wasn’t expecting it during my first week.”
Manager: “You’re doing great but let me know if it all gets a bit much.”
I survive this table until we get to them ordering their desserts. The son orders an ice cream sundae.
Manager: “Is that tray for the problem table?”
Me: “Yes.”
Manager: “And the sundae is for the little s***?”
Me: “Yes.”
Manager: “Watch and learn.”
He replaces the sundae spoon with a soup spoon. It’s served in a traditional glass sundae cup. This cup has a small divot in the center bottom. My manager sees me getting the tray of desserts ready. The kid wasn’t able to get the last bite and become super frustrated. It was obvious this boy was never raised to control his emotions, so we witnessed this twelve-year-old boy throw a tantrum worthy of a toddler over his inability to get the last bite of melted ice cream.
Manager: “It’s the little wins that keep you sane.”
Yakety Sax 22 days ago
“I Am Not Drinking Any F* Merlot!”*
I am flying on a budget airline from England to Portugal. The airline is very cheap, so I am not expecting much service beyond simply getting me there safely. The plane’s crew are doing the drink service and the women in the row ahead of me are ordering.
Passenger: “She’ll have an Aperol Spritz, I’ll take an espresso martini, and my friend is using the toilet, but she’ll have a regular martini but extra dirty.”
Air Steward: “Darling, this is [Budget Airline]. We have red, white, sparkling, and spirits.”
Passenger: “Oh… do you have a glass of malbec?”
Air Steward: “We have merlot, and they come in little bottles with a screw cap.”
The ladies “made do” with the cheap merlot and seemed equally disappointed that this two-and-a-half-hour flight didn’t serve afternoon tea.
seanfear 22 days ago
and liquor, and coffee (if not, i dunno what you’re talking about)
Yakety Sax 22 days ago
The Most Audacious Data-Dealing Dingus To Ever Derp
I work for an airline. This happened on the day when I returned to work from maternity leave. Apparently, while I was gone, some dingus decided that my secretary was now his personal assistant. He even told her I had authorized it, and if she said anything to me, she’d be fired. Being young and a bit naive, she believed him.
I found out when I called and asked her where she was after lunch.
Secretary: “Mr. [Dingus] ordered me to fetch his dry cleaning.”
I got mad at the audacity of this guy, and I told her to not pick up anything and to get back to the office immediately.
Of course, I inquired who he was, and I was informed that he was a Data Input supervisor. In the center of our office, we have a room with a large screen covering the wall, with a map of North America showing our airline’s flights flying into, out of, or over the US and Canada, lovingly referred to as the “War Room”. Data Input is responsible for keeping it up to date, along with making the reports us executives have to read to do our jobs.
I went to the office [Dingus] shared with another and spoke to him in my best valley-girl accent.
Me: “Hi, sorry to interrupt. Can I ask why [Secretary] is doing errands for you? I thought she worked for someone else?”
Dingus: “Her boss is some foreign b**** who got knocked up and is probably not coming back. Meanwhile, we Americans have to share offices and do grunt work. But why do you ask?”
Me: Changing to my real accent “Because I’m [My Name as it’s written on my office door], the b**** who got knocked up and is now going to have a talk with your boss.”
His face drained of colour. He did not like the yelling his manager gave him, and he certainly didn’t like hearing that he had to pass sensitivity training or be fired.
FreyjaRN Premium Member 22 days ago
That it is. Add cats to prove it’s made of love.
blunebottle 22 days ago
And Aunty surprises us again.
ddl297 22 days ago
Well said!
assrdood 22 days ago
What happened to the real Aunty? Is there a ransom demand?
rockyridge1977 22 days ago
It takes a heap of living to make a home!!!!
Daltongang Premium Member 22 days ago
“Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.”—Clint Eastwood
Pickled Pete 22 days ago
That guy sure does have a look of apprehension!
ladykat 22 days ago
True.
el_eye 22 days ago
Her husband is showing some excitement ??
sbenton7684 22 days ago
You don’t see Aunty Acid with a significant other very often…
dflak 22 days ago
I’ve lost count of how many residences I’ve had when I was on active duty, but it was always nice to come home.
pheets 22 days ago
Aunty says something positive. Let’s stick with that for the day : )
anomalous4 22 days ago
Just the facts.
wildlandwaters 22 days ago
and through his gritted teeth, he says “I’m happy! Can’t you see I’m happy? Right, dear??”
cuzinron47 22 days ago
So you finally let Walt out of the dungeon.
Jefano Premium Member 22 days ago
Nothing makes Aunty look better than posing her next to her husband.
paullp Premium Member 22 days ago
Once again, Aunty goes deep — or are today’s word of wisdom courtesy of her husband?
davidob 22 days ago
Who are you, and what have you done with Aunty?