At Least They Were Smart Enough To Get Vaccinated?
I am in line at a nightclub not long after the world has reopened after lockdown. Most places are requiring you to have a vaccination card to be allowed entry. The bouncer is talking to a woman ahead of me:
Bouncer: “Your vaccination card and ID don’t match; I can’t let you in.”
Customer: “But I’m vaxxed! The vaccination card is the real one.”
She Must Beerly Get Through Her Day Without Being Offended
A woman is buying a few cases of beer, some with twenty-four cans. She’s lifting them up onto the checkout belt so I can scan them and then placing them back in her cart. The customer behind her, an older woman, is glaring disapprovingly.
Grumpy Customer: “You should be getting a man to lift those for you. It’s very uncouth!”
Customer: “Don’t have a man, and I don’t need one for this.”
Grumpy Customer: “It’s not very ladylike to even buy beer, let alone drink it!”
Customer: “Good thing I’m non-binary.”
Grumpy Customer: Gasps. “That’s not something one admits in public!”
Customer: To me. “Can you validate my parking, please? Also, do you validate time machines because this lady came all the way from 1950!”
If The Government Knows One Thing, It’s How To Fib
I have a government-issued cell phone. I had to complete training before getting the phone, which included rules about use, safety instructions, etc., but it made one thing very clear: when I’m talking on that phone, I’m talking on behalf of the government.
I’ve been expecting a call, and when an unknown number pops up, I immediately answer.
Caller: “Hi! I’m calling from [Company] with an exciting opportunity. We make your life easier by making your debt go away. Mind if I ask you a few questions?”
This is NOT the call I was expecting, so my brain is trying to catch up.
Me: “Wha… Huh?”
Caller: “Great! How much debt are you currently facing?”
Our buses in town are free, which makes a bigger difference than I expected. Passengers don’t have to fumble with change, and drivers don’t have to police them; it makes the whole ride more friendly. Everyone greets the driver when they get on board and says, “Thank you!”, when they get off.
There are rules, though. Our friend got on with her six-pound Yorkie-poodle pup in a chest carrier, and the driver asked:
Driver: “Is that a service dog?”
Friend: Truthfully “No.”
Driver: “Let me ask you again. Is. That. A. Service. Dog?”
They are the same ‘class’ of people who feel free to scribble messages on the walls of lavatory stalls. They have always been around, but now do their thing electronically to a much wider audience.
Well Aunty, you have to remember, All the world is a stage, and all the men and women are merely players. And there are a lot of grubby people trying to hog the spotlight.
Haha, this makes me laugh :-D When I first tried to write on GC I felt I could muster up the courage to open up and join the group, all because I was sure I never would personally meet someone of the crowd. And then came this years spring and we got a very lovely visitor from GC’s US crowd and also her very lovely spouse. We spent an amazing day together and the memory still warms my heart every day. I mean you are not always “safe” ;-) with pretending on the internet :-D
Yakety Sax 28 days ago
At Least They Were Smart Enough To Get Vaccinated?
I am in line at a nightclub not long after the world has reopened after lockdown. Most places are requiring you to have a vaccination card to be allowed entry. The bouncer is talking to a woman ahead of me:
Bouncer: “Your vaccination card and ID don’t match; I can’t let you in.”
Customer: “But I’m vaxxed! The vaccination card is the real one.”
Bouncer: “So the ID is fake?”
Customer: “…f***.”
Yakety Sax 28 days ago
She Must Beerly Get Through Her Day Without Being Offended
A woman is buying a few cases of beer, some with twenty-four cans. She’s lifting them up onto the checkout belt so I can scan them and then placing them back in her cart. The customer behind her, an older woman, is glaring disapprovingly.
Grumpy Customer: “You should be getting a man to lift those for you. It’s very uncouth!”
Customer: “Don’t have a man, and I don’t need one for this.”
Grumpy Customer: “It’s not very ladylike to even buy beer, let alone drink it!”
Customer: “Good thing I’m non-binary.”
Grumpy Customer: Gasps. “That’s not something one admits in public!”
Customer: To me. “Can you validate my parking, please? Also, do you validate time machines because this lady came all the way from 1950!”
Yakety Sax 28 days ago
If The Government Knows One Thing, It’s How To Fib
I have a government-issued cell phone. I had to complete training before getting the phone, which included rules about use, safety instructions, etc., but it made one thing very clear: when I’m talking on that phone, I’m talking on behalf of the government.
I’ve been expecting a call, and when an unknown number pops up, I immediately answer.
Caller: “Hi! I’m calling from [Company] with an exciting opportunity. We make your life easier by making your debt go away. Mind if I ask you a few questions?”
This is NOT the call I was expecting, so my brain is trying to catch up.
Me: “Wha… Huh?”
Caller: “Great! How much debt are you currently facing?”
Time to put that training to use!
Me: “Roughly thirty-three trillion dollars.”
Caller: Click
Yakety Sax 28 days ago
Happy To Be Of Service!
Our buses in town are free, which makes a bigger difference than I expected. Passengers don’t have to fumble with change, and drivers don’t have to police them; it makes the whole ride more friendly. Everyone greets the driver when they get on board and says, “Thank you!”, when they get off.
There are rules, though. Our friend got on with her six-pound Yorkie-poodle pup in a chest carrier, and the driver asked:
Driver: “Is that a service dog?”
Friend: Truthfully “No.”
Driver: “Let me ask you again. Is. That. A. Service. Dog?”
Friend: Figuring it out “Oh! Yes. Yes, it is.”
Driver: “Welcome aboard!”
CorkLock 28 days ago
Aunty pegged herself right.
FreyjaRN Premium Member 28 days ago
It’s sad that so many people on social media demonstrate they have less than three sulci.
TStyle78 28 days ago
They might not be pretending. They might be that way in person too.
jmworacle 28 days ago
Maybe it isn’t a choice….
PraiseofFolly 28 days ago
They are the same ‘class’ of people who feel free to scribble messages on the walls of lavatory stalls. They have always been around, but now do their thing electronically to a much wider audience.
Daltongang Premium Member 28 days ago
Well Aunty, you have to remember, All the world is a stage, and all the men and women are merely players. And there are a lot of grubby people trying to hog the spotlight.
kunddog 28 days ago
With some subject matters you will always find someone who thinks you are ignorant bonehead, religion and politics come readily to mind.
rockyridge1977 28 days ago
……Face…..Butt!!!!!!
ladykat 28 days ago
Unfortunately true, Aunty.
dflak 28 days ago
When you can hide behind a mask, when their are no consequences for your actions, you can deceive yourself into believing that you are brave.
cuzinron47 28 days ago
No comment.
silberdistel 28 days ago
Haha, this makes me laugh :-D When I first tried to write on GC I felt I could muster up the courage to open up and join the group, all because I was sure I never would personally meet someone of the crowd. And then came this years spring and we got a very lovely visitor from GC’s US crowd and also her very lovely spouse. We spent an amazing day together and the memory still warms my heart every day. I mean you are not always “safe” ;-) with pretending on the internet :-D
Katzi428 28 days ago
Boy is THIS the truth!
wildlandwaters 28 days ago
mike drop of the century!
Doug K 28 days ago
On the internet you can choose to be an ignorant bonehead yourself and you can choose to label others whatever you want.
Jennifer Falk 28 days ago
in other words their same old selves