Drabble by Kevin Fagan for August 20, 2024

I’ve been tempted to bring an old receipt to test how closely the “receipt reviewer” really checks against a huge purchase…

“And the sign said, you have to have a membership card to get inside—” Five Man Electrical Band.

Exiting is my favorite part. I see the line is moving with people exiting the store and then I get in line. The line comes to a grinding halt, workers need to stop and fiddle with the receipt scanner, customers forget the items they put on the lower rack and need to scan it while the line behind me gets longer. Good times.

The main purpose of the “greeter” at Walmart is not to make you think, “Golly gee willikers, what a friendly store!” They’re watching you on your way out to make sure you aren’t shoplifting. I learned this when I worked at one 30 years ago.

You can just picture that idiot in a security uniform, and Lord, don’t give him a gun

He’s telling this story to his wife. Pretty sure she would know what jobs he’s had.

Entering Costco not only requires you to show your card now, but you have to scan it.

Otherwise known as the Exit Door Gestapo.

I’m wondering if Ralph would leave his job as security guard for that!

Now Costco is going to use facial ID checking to make sure you haven’t just borrowed your mother’s membership card. I guess they don’t like all the extra profit they get from relatives. I hope their sales drop by 30%.

I go to stores that hire cashiers.

Welcome to Costco

Can Ralph even read???

Receipt Reviewer at CVS. 15 minutes per customer.

I’ve only had one person actually check my items. Every other time it’s just a quick look-see and that’s it.

“Promotion”

Go back to being a Park ranger, you’ll be happier

AKA Costco Customs Officer.

I just noticed, the characters faces are ‘minimal’ almost like strip “Chuckle Bros”

If he deems that a big promotion, he’s keeping the bar low.

He’s not a Park Ranger anymore?

Didn’t he used to be a mall cop?

I really don’t understand why people complain so much about Costco and having to pay membership fees, show their cards and scanning them, self-checkout, or having the receipt checked when they leave (I’ve never seen a Sam’s Club). I have never had any trouble with any of these and I am sure that we save plenty by sensible purchasing there. After all, we do have a freezer, and don’t make impulse buys. And who doesn’t like the grazing or the $1.50 hot dogs? My only issue is that stuff gets moved around quite a bit, and something you found one day will be in a much different place the very next day. The night crew must be very busy.

From “May I see your papers, comrade?” to “I must confirm you are not leaving with more than you should have – we must protect our collective.”

I hold my receipt out as I walk buy to show I’m honest and get checked about once a year and then it’s only for things like soda

The last few times I’ve been to Sam’s, the automatic checker has scanned me. All the human being does is wave me through.

I recently read that they are checking if the receipt is current or old. If it’s old, could mean you are stealing items.

What happened to being a park ranger?