Last Kiss by John Lustig for September 20, 2024

Dude it’s time to run like the wind.

Oh, he’ll be happy. Living a thousand miles away from her, married to someone else.

Hard to argue with that.

With girls like her, it’s no wonder guys stay single.

The weather forecasts the relationship…

Remember half your stuff is mine right now.

I bet he feels happier already!

I think I was once married to her.

Gee. She is theenks so a-like.

She such a electrifying personality weather you is like it or not.

He just wants a happy ending.

Make it legal — A Rider on the Storm … it’s one of The Doors to avoid future marital bliss(tears):

.

“Boy, you gotta love your woman

Girl, you gotta love your man

Take him the hand

Make him understand

The world on you depends

Our married life will never end

Gotta love your (wo)man, yeah …”

.

(Apologies to The Doors …)

Stolen from Woody Allen. [nsfw]

Found a job yet, Woody?

I’m the towel boy at the women’s gym on Floogle Street. Most of the customers are training to be boxers. They treat me like garbage. They spit at me, curse me, make me wash their dirty gym socks, and I have to clean all the toilets five times a day.

That sounds like a terrible job. How’s the money?

Fifty dollars a week.

Fifty?? That’s not a lot of money.

I know, but it’s all I can afford.

With that fingernail she could be a young Rosa Klebb before she switched to a poisoned knife in her shoe. Be careful, Mr. Bond. (Cue the theme music.)

Don’t worry, be happy.

Happy is as happy does…

Practice this saying: “Yes Dear. Yes Dear.”

Hmmm, she took the bull by the horn. And that really works!!!

My second wife grew up in the forties and fifties. She insisted we would be happy if we followed her rules. She insisted, I resisted. We were happy, anyway.

Been there, done that.

GAL: OH YEAH? After I jab this finger down your throat a few times THEN you can tell me how much I’ll like it when you do “it” to me!!!

“So you will work a high paying job and be my sugar mamma? Let’s get hitched right now!”

So that’s the secret!

Forced happiness. She might be on to something.

I just made your dinner. You WILL enjoy it. Or else.

She treated him like a god. Everyday she burned a food offering in his honour.

he doesn’t seem too upset…

“Shut your mouth and do what I told you, Max! Oops. Max is the dog”.