Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 19, 2024

Did you check behind the couch?

Maybe Pig is right. Maybe they’re all hiding from him.

Some of them have ghosted you. They’re the hardest to get hold of…

They are somewhere, and don’t call me Shirley.

This makes me sad.

I can relate. Gone from a family circle of 20-25 regulars to holiday dinners down to just me, over the course of the last 6 years.

Yes, Pig. They’re somewhere.

Somewhere, over the rainbow.

“So many people have come and gone / Their faces fade as the years go by…” — Boston, “More Than a Feeling”

Pig, if only!

They’re on Facebook of course.

Bob Dylan’s “Blowing in the Wind” comes to mind.

Forgets them peoples Pig. Just theenks of all the pigs you was lost in life because those peoples was eats them.

thankfully i’m old enough to have either outlived them, or they can’t remember the last time they took a healthy dump, much less the dumb stuff i did 60+ years ago.

Look behind the tree, Pig.

Facebook, Twitter, X, America’s Most Wanted…etc,…

It’s always the last place you look!

Why don’t shout “Olly olly oxen free”?

Green leaves of summer turn red in the fall

To brown and to yellow they fade

And then they have to die

Trapped within the circle time parade

Of changes

Good hide and seek players are hard to find

Define, “lost.” If you mean those who left your sphere of existence to do other things with other people, be glad, you don’t need them any more than they need you. If by lost you mean dead, you’ll never find them, they’re dead, death is the end of us, happily.

Here’s to all the people I’ve lost along the way.

Maybe being a trail guide wasn’t such a good idea.

Another sad Pearls. Pastis has been very melancholy lately.

“Where was the last place you saw it?”

-Every mother ever

They’re not lost, Pig. They’re in your heart.

Pig, they are in your heart…

Win the lottery and they will all be back in a heartbeat.

Alternate Reply: Be a gifted but not very bright professional football player and get a ridiculous multi million dollar contract and they will all be back in a heartbeat and when you are broken down and beaten up and retire you can get a job unloading crates on the dock at Ikea.

Where have all the flowers gone?

Gone to young girls every one; when will they ever learn. When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young girls gone ….

Where have all the young boys gone ….

Where have all the soldiers gone ….

Where have all the graveyards gone?

Gone to flowers every one; when will they ever learn. When will they ever learn?

Cue Lennon: “In My Life”.

My experience is that they are hiding, from me…

Whatever social media you are on, chances are they are on a different platform.

Though I know, I’ll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I’ll often stop and think about them

In my life I’ve loved them all

Lennon/ McCartny

Dangit, Pastis, you made me choke up again.

Most of them can stay hidden. I worked hard to get those festering sores out of my life. I have peace and intend to hold on to you it to with all my might.

Yes they are. But they are hiding. But don’t call me Shirley (sorry, couldn’t resist).

Seek & ye shall find.

I wonder if he means people who have died or living people with whom he’s lost contact. I tend to find the emotions around the latter far stronger and far more complex. If the relationship ended on a particularly bitter note, resentment and/or regret can retroactively poison the memories of better times. But if I accept that a relationship has run its course, that the currents of the river of fate that once brought us together have now brought us apart, I can gratefully cherish those memories and carry them with me into the future.

They are somewhere else avoiding you here.

I always suspect they moved to Ohio and haven’t called me yet

Mine are not forgotten. But someone called them “suckers and losers”.

Another poignant strip from Pastis. He’s getting mellow with the years.

How …philisophical….. of him!

I darn tootin’ hope so. Every time I prayed to save my wife, all lines were busy.

I bet you’ll find them in an old photo album

Once upon a time there was a tavern, where we used to raise a glass or two…..and play trivia….then came Covid and closed the place down….

Win the lottery

Yes, and stop calling me Shirley.

Pig seems to be losing weight. Poor guy isn’t eating right.

I wonder if Pig means “dead” or just “lost”?

You have to learn fast interdimensional travel.

Pig, if they are not in your heart then maybe they don’t deserve to be in your life.